German Muslimah in America

1st baby photo

2012-01-26T17:47:00.002-06:00

Soo, they spelled my last name wrong, but no biggie. The main excitement was that I was actually able to hear a heartbeat and see the tiny flickering on the monitor! Masha'Allah!

No morning Sickness, Alhamdullilah, but this weeks the name of the game is food aversion, I got to literally force myself to eat food... or drink anything, not good since apparently i have a UTI and the doc says I need to drink more. Ya Allah give me strength to do this right!

islamic joke - moral, be honest! lol

2012-01-15T18:33:00.001-06:00

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Two men are in the desert, one called Steve and the other James. They have no water, are very thirsty but suddenly notice a Mosque nearby. They decide to go in with James telling Steve, "I'm going to pretend my name's Abdul, otherwise they won't give us anything to eat or drink cos' we're not Muslims. You change your name too." But Steve refused. "I'm not changing my name for anyone! My name's Steve and that's it."

They go in and meet the Imam. "Hi, my name's Abdullah and this is Steve."

The Imam replies, "Hello Steve and Assalamu 'alaykum Abdul." He turns to Steve and says, "Come and have some food and water Steve."

He then turns to Abdul and says, "Ramadhan Mubarak."

unreal

2012-01-12T22:23:00.003-06:00

so I've known I'm pregnant for almost a whole week. It still seems so unreal. i mean, on Tues i had horrible nausea and exhaustion. yesterday and today except for some few moments i was pretty ok. I know, I know, by stating this I'm going to jinx myself something horrible (lol), but I'm feeling like I wanna just go out and buy another Pregnancy test just to double check to see if I am "still" pregnant.
I dunno, its just so weird thinking of myself as a mom. I love the idea, I have wanted this for so long, so alhamdullilah for it happening and insha'Allah everything will turn out ok.

I'm Pregnant!

2012-01-10T06:31:00.000-06:00

lol, what wonderful news to share with everyone!!!

New Year

2012-01-04T01:31:00.001-06:00

I hope everyone had a new year... I spent it working a 24 hour shift... wasn't fun, but hey if your salary then what can ya do??

Curious Me:

2011-12-20T22:39:00.004-06:00

So how soon after Ya'll got married did ya'll have your first child?

Was there a whole lot of pressure from family to have (or not to have) children soon?

Did you fear being a mother for the first-time (or again)?

Did you obsess about it and read everything you could find on the topic of getting and being pregnant? Or did you just trust in Allah (Swt)?

How was his attitude towards it? Relaxed, more expectant? Was he set on a gender or more "whatever"?

We've made the "big" decision to let it happen if it does. Family wise, (So far) they haven't asked me too much other than my Sister, my father actually said don't have any right away, or if I do he's hoping for a bunch of girls. His Family hasn't asked me, but apparently his Mom has asked him here and there if we were planning anything. I know he is more relaxed about it, a "Allahu Alim" attitude. I am at times joyful and anticipating, at other times I am worried about the small things: will I be a good mother, will everything go right, will I be able to raise them in a good and loving manner? (just a few examples)

I've always wanted a big family, many children, I come from a huge family with plentiful cousins and aunts and uncles, the sad thing is that we are so spread out over the globe that it is hard to have family reunions.

My Great Grandmother is a remarkable woman. she had 17 children, and is still making sure we are all keeping up with her to this day! My Grandmother (Oma) has 5, her only daughter has 5, my dad had 4 and my sister already has three.

I really hope that all Women who want to be mothers will be able to. Insha'Allah they will be able to have as many or as few as they want, have the ability to provide a healthy and loving homes to their children and be able to see their children grow up.

My heart goes out to all the Mothers of the world tonight, May your days be filled with ease and happiness as you provide for your children...

End of the Year 2011...

2011-12-20T19:55:00.006-06:00

Soo, the better part of this year I have been MIA.

I've moved, gotten married, got a promotion, endured some hardships, had happy moments, loved a lot, lived a little, worked very hard and had some fun.

I have so often sat down to start writing a post, but it either didn't come out right, or it ended up being soo personal that I got uncomfortable with posting it publicly. (I sent it to my sister instead, lol)

I've read my fellow bloggers blogs and learned much about them, I've laughed with their mishaps, and cried with their misfortunes and as some of us are slowly leaving the blogosphere, I've mourned the absence of many great minds.

My hope is that I will be able to be more active in the year of 2012 Insha'Allah.
Insha'Allah of our hopes and dreams will come true, as well as Insha'Allah we will manage through our struggles and keep the faith...

(Photo was Easter 1985)

I'm not lost.. only living in a dream world..

2011-09-25T20:08:00.002-05:00

or so it seems sometimes.

I'm in DFW finally. Started my new job so Insha'Allah that'll stay good. sorry for the absences pple, but between getting the old house move-in rdy for the next tenant and getting stuff moved (with which the hubby helped ALOT) life's been hectic.

In Pictures: Somalis flee to Ethiopia - In Pictures - Al Jazeera English

2011-08-06T06:19:00.000-05:00

In Pictures: Somalis flee to Ethiopia - In Pictures - Al Jazeera English

Some really nice and moving pictures and the captions under the pictures were enlightening. some were new to even me and I'm married to a wonderful resourceful Somali Man.

Lets pray and donate what we can to help these proud People survive this Famine and war that is ravaging their country.

Ramadan update:

2011-08-02T22:46:00.003-05:00

So First Day of fasting down, 28 more to go... (its actually the second day but I started a day late due to menses)

Overall: Day was a good day, I caught my self twice about to say something bad about someone, so I'm happy about that. (the catching myself part)

I did drink some water during lunch hour, but will forgive myself that since it was my first day of Fast.

Insha'Allah tomorrow will be better...

2011-07-21T14:33:00.004-05:00

Anybody ever feel like they are drowning in the other person?

I get what he's trying to do: I really do. But asking me to give up my cell phone, my gym membership, my insurance and so on and get added to all of his stuff makes me feel like I am being asked to give up everything I am and start drowning in him.

I get what he's trying to do: some of his stuff is cheaper than mine and I guess in the end for him its about saving a buck. And the fact that I wouldn't have to worry about that bill.

But is it too much to ask for us to keep some things that are mine? Or am I just blowing this outta proportion?

**edit: when I said giving up I meant that he was going to add me to his plan with he cell phone, and the car insurance, and the gym membership, and eventually the bank info and so on.

Sorry for not clarifying...

Rant start:

2011-06-24T23:43:00.003-05:00

You know I love my Dad to death, I mean I would do almost anything for that man, but sometimes he just frustrates the bejesus outta me.

Only once, when I am trying to do something nice for him would I like to have a: "Well that was nice kiddo", I'm not even asking for a whole complete pat on the back or bask in my glory type of moment, but a acknowledgement that I was trying to do something nice for him; something he always wanted, wished for and bemoaned because the likelihood of it happening is very small; but NOOOO he has to go on and on about how it is the wrong thing to do, that I shouldn't enable her, that I am going about it the wrong way and that there are better solutions to the problem and that her coming here would make the issue worse than it already is. And from there we went into how much our mother screwed us up. And that started another tirade about how she calls him: "Joe" instead of "Dad" like she used to. So What? If she chooses not too, then that's her choice, but stop trying to put a hidden meaning into everybody's actions, sometimes when i say the sky is blue i really mean the sky is blue.

And he wonders and gets upset about me not telling him stuff, cuz this is what happens.....

(Sorry, my rant is over, and if you read this going: Hah?, don't worry, at least one person will read this and understand exactly whats going on)

Recent Conversation:

2011-06-07T23:42:00.002-05:00

Me: You gotta teach me how to speak Somali.

Him: Okaay, why?

Me: Well, your Mom wants me to speak it, and it would also help me not to be left out when we visit your family and ya'll lapse into somali.

Him: Well, the only one who doesn't speak english is my mother, and she'll learn english at some point, so theres no real need for you to learn it.

Me: hmm, or is it really that you are saying stuff you may not want me to overhear?

Him: (after pause) Ok, I'll teach you somali if you want.

LOL, whats up with that?

Status Change # 2

2011-06-02T22:27:00.003-05:00

Where have I been you ask?

Well, I've been busy with Life. yes, Life with a capital "L".

We decided to hold the Nikah on may 7th, just us two, the Iman, his mother, his younger sister, the witnesses and a whole boat load of traditional Somali Food!

I didn't get too many pictures because I was so giddy, lol, I sorta wish I could go back and be like: "Lets take pictures of this", or: "oOo stand together and let me capture this moment!"

So here I am after the Nikah, grinning like a love struck idiot (well I sorta am, lol). I was so excited that when I packed my bag, I forgot my Hijab pins and my nicer Hijab, go figure. But hey, there are plenty of opportunities for strikingly beautiful Hijab days, right? (Ok in my case just mediocre, but hey, I gotta be realistic about some things, lmao)

Anyways, Just giving the update on Life and all, I'll try to post more regularly once I'm all moved in and all....

My thoughts on the Rapture that was supposed to happen today:

2011-05-21T21:29:00.000-05:00

INSTALLING RAPTURE.
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.

Install delayed....please wait.

Installation failed. Please try again.

404 error: Rapture not found.
EVENT "Rapture" cannot be located. The rapture you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.

Some Jokes I found:

2011-05-19T16:09:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.
"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice,
"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"
Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away
...

"We're down here ."

______________________________

A boss' best worker named Colin claims he knows absolutely everyone, trying to convince the boss he should get a raise. So the boss goes: ''Riiight, let's go fly to Hollywood and meet... Tom Cruise!''
Colin: ''Sure, me and Tom are good buddies.'' Later, Colin and his boss are in Hollywood and are knocking on Cruise's door. Upon opening the door, Tom shouts: ''Colin! What a great surprise! Please, you and your friend come in and join me for lunch.'' Upon leaving the house, Colin's boss is dumb-founded, but not 100% convinced. So Colin proceeds to say: ''Fine, let's go to President Obama.''
Later that day, Colin and his boss arrive in D.C. Upon entering the White House, Colin gets eye contact with Obama who exclaims: ''Colin! How great to see you! Please, come have a cup of coffee with your friend and I to catch up. So the boss is now 90% assured that Colin does in fact know everyone. So as one last attempt, the boss challenges Colin to have known the Pope personally. Colin says: ''Why sure, my family and I lived in Germany for a while, and we knew the Pope very well.''
So after landing in Rome, they head for the town the Pope is scheduled to be doing a speech on. After many attempts of trying to make eye contact, Colin says: ''It's no use. I can't make eye contact through all these people. Wait, I'll go up the stairs, as I know the guards well, and come out on the balcony with the Pope.''
Sure enough, the Pope is shortly joined by Colin on the balcony.
5 minutes later, Colin returns to where he was previously standing to find that his boss had a heart attack, and was surrounded by paramedics. Colin asks him what happened, to which the boss replied: ''Well, when you were up there, a guy next to me shouted - Who the F*CK is that next to Colin?!''

_____________________________________________________________

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company.

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."

New Status

2011-05-08T21:38:00.002-05:00

My status has changed as of Sat night.

I will reveal most of it at a later timepoint, but I can safely say that me moving to Dallas is a definite.

The transfer request is in and Insha'Allah it will happen soon. Until then we both just need to make Dua's and be patient...

Annoying stereotypes

2011-05-02T20:55:00.004-05:00

(Edited to correct a word)

So what is the stereotype that annoys you the most? Is it the cliche questions, such as: "Are you hot wearing that?", "But I thought all muslims had to hate us to be REAL muslims?"

I dunno, for me its always been the if you die as a Suicide Bomber you get 72 virgins in Jahannah.

The whole idea that you get all these virgins for yourself if you kill innocent humans just never made sense.

Here are some essential questions that come to my mind thinking on this:
Is it different depending upon your gender?

Do women get 72 male virgins? Do men ever get there and see 72 male, nerdy WoW loving virgins? (Nothing against the game, I'm a player myself, just playing upon another stereotype)

What if you were married? I was always under the impression that you will be married even in Jahannah. Will the virgins be in addition to your wife?

Are they equal to your wife, or can she have them do the housework and the cleaning and cooking and raising of the kids?

If men can't even deal with the nagging of one wife, how will he handle the nagging of 72?

I suppose this ones comes to bear too: Could a man even fully satisfy 72 virgins? Do they have assigned days of the weeks? LMAO, ok, now I'm getting silly...

But yea, This is really the most annoying thing I hear pple say, and if I try to dispute it, no one ever believes me. Maybe they secretly want 72 virgins of their own???

Hmm...

2011-05-02T06:56:00.001-05:00

Osama is apparantly Dead.

If it is indeed true then Alhamdullilah

But ya'll realize we won't really be pulling out of Afghanistan or Iraq, right? If we do, I'd be really surprised...

Age...

2011-04-28T00:38:00.001-05:00

So, I'll be 27 years old today. Another year closer to 30. Doesn't feel much different, but then, should it?

Hope everybody is having a good day out there in the world...

5th year of blogging...

2011-04-24T13:42:00.000-05:00

As I head into the middle of my 5th year of blogging (5th already?) I am sometimes confronted with a familiar problem:

In this world of interconnectivity and social networking, when is sharing your life’s musings too much? When does sharing become a security risk? When you are talking about your families little quirks? Or when you even dare mention the name of a loved one?

I’m sure many blogger has sat in front of their computer /laptop screen wondering: Should I edit some of this out? Does anyone really want to read all the little details of what I did today?

The answer for me is simple:

-You have to be comfortable with what you are putting out. You have to be confident in what you write, and try to know the group of pple you are attempting to reach so that what details you do end up sharing do not come back to bite you. That can be in form of someone you know personally airing out your dirty business, or someone reading you are on vacation, and breaking into your house (unlikely maybe, depending upon how much info can be found out about you)

I have many posts in my draft section. Posts that I have penned when I felt like sharing but didn’t want to post them for fear of reprisal, fear of recognition, fear of someone finding out my honest opinion I have been just too darn politically correct to share. I want to write about so much in my life, but I end up writing about safe topics. Topics that could be taken from anyone’s life story.

I look and read and follow some awesome blogs who to varying degrees are not afraid of putting themselves and their opinions out there. They write about their highs and lows, they write about heartbreaks, losing jobs, pregnancies and marriage woes. And here I am in my 5th year of blogging, and still have not graduated past the occasional heartfelt, thought-out post.

Will I ever get to be like those women? Maybe, but I think it is more realistic to say that I am not given to witty, sarcastic penmanship, nor will I win awards for my superior writing skills. I will take my 21 loyal followers (and hopefully more that are unknown to me) and stubbornly struggle on, trying to tell the world about my little story down here, deep in the eastern heart of Texas.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T12:07:00.001-05:00

To all my readers who are out hunting the eggs, and cooking up a storm for their relatives (or are the relative that crashed the easter celebration to eat all that food):

Have a great Easter Sunday!!

Black Swan Review...

2011-04-16T00:18:00.005-05:00

Sometimes the only words to describe a movie are: Wow. In whole the movie was very good. Although it starts off slow, the pace gradually becomes faster and faster until finally the finale just blows it over the top. The ending is such a twist you hardly see it coming.

Between the glimpses of the Lead seemingly losing her grip on reality it becomes very hard to distinguish what is real and what is imagination due to stress overload and the quest for perfection in every small detail. As a hardened thriller, and horror and so on enthusiast, this movie still had some surprising twists for me that even I had not seen coming. Even though I have no interest for ballet, it still managed to grasp my attention and even explain what the Swan Lake ballet is about.

I suppose the takeaway from this is that sometimes the continuous strive for perfection, or the urging of a parent to follow a dream (mostly a dream the parents themselves could not fulfill and so push it upon their children), can sometimes be a terrible thing with terrible consequences if taken to the extreme.

Its hard to really describe this movie without giving out spoilers. I so want to scrutinize some of the choices she made throughout, or admire some of her strong will, but again, not wanting to give out spoilers.... So go watch it yourself! Its not a horror, no guts and gore or such, but no sugarcoated fluff either.

Then again, watch it and let me know what You think.

**After reading some other peoples reviews, it seems like you either are going to love or hate the movie. Just so your warned.**

Nikah and Mahr...

2011-04-10T22:43:00.003-05:00

Just a few curious Questions in case anybody wants to share:

When you got married, did you fill out a marriage contract (i.e. a Islamic prenuptial)?

Did you or your Husband initiate that?

How about Mahr? How much/little should you ask for, and is that something you should initiate or is that more the responsibility of the husband?

How does the Nikah ceremony in the mosque work? I know you have the Iman, yourselves and two witnesses, but other than that I know nothing really? Anybody willing to share some info?

Thanks!!!

Jungle Fever...

2011-04-07T11:54:00.003-05:00

So, Insha'Allah, I have found him: The one I am comfortable being around. The one I can have hour to two hour long conversations with and not be bored. The one who likes other genre's of film or TV than I do but will watch some of my shows if I watch some of his. We've been talking over phone and texts since mid Feb. and last Weekend he came down to see me. I told him straight out that the first order of business was to go grocery shopping since I was going to do that anyways and I wasn't going to change that part of the plan for him (well I needed to have food in the house, right?) So we met up in the Parking lot of Wal-Mart where I work, and we went in and commenced shopping. At first it was a bit awkward true, I mean it was the first time we had met, so actually doing something together was an easier first-meeting activity than just sitting somewhere and having coffee I think. What I did not count on was my Cashiers and Customer Service Managers flocking to us and quizzing him and me. (Que to me blushing furiously the entire time) He took it in stride though, gotta give him credit for that. When asked who he was he replied stoically: "The Help" while gesturing to the groceries in the cart. and even when they started singing Jungle Fever, and made remarks such as: "Jess, you know what they say about going black" or, "Now no one can say anything about me dating a white guy if She is with a black guy", he never bated an eye, just kept on smiling quietly and I think enjoyed my blushes. hmm, we might have to do something about that. But other than that, over which he still laughs when it gets mentioned, we went to Nacogdoches, Lufkin to shop around for a flat screen TV and watched a movie. He was a true gentleman, never made any advances on me (unless you call continuously glancing and smiling at me an advance). When he left the next day it was with a little sadness. Even knowing he was only 3 hours away but a bit of a dampener on the parting. He has made mentions since then that he wants me to move to him or even that he would come down here "kidnap" me for a Nikah ceremony, lol. So currently he is visiting Family up north, and we may have only seen each other once so far, but I find it a bit strange thinking of him as being so far away. 3 hours I was ok, with, but I find myself anxiously awaiting the day when he returns to Texas, no matter that I will see him right away or not, just being out of the state makes me miss him. (weird, aren't I?) So yea, This is not really a post meant to be opinionated, more of a informational one pertaining recent events. And highlighting one of the reasons I have been MIA from this blog in recent months.

Some news from my end of the Spotlight:

2011-03-23T16:48:00.006-05:00

*Edited to correct the type of Degree my sister received*

So, My sister graduated and now has her M.A. (Masters of Art) in Cultural Anthropology. My brother just changed his major from engineering to Psychology and I still work at Walmart as a front end Manager. Lol. I suppose some things never change no matter how crazy the world is getting.

I've been talking to a brother up in Dallas exclusively for the past month, and I may be a bit too optimistic, but hey, we all need some hope in this world or else why bother? I'll update Ya'll on this matter as soon as we meet and make the decision.

So my father got himself a new job, although it will be a bit harder now for both of us, since he now brings back less than what he made on unemployment. I suppose I see now why some people stay on unemployment all their lives. Going from unemployment to working can be more expensive at times.
I just don't understand how they pull it off. I mean, look at my dad. He diligently filed every two weeks like he was supposed to. Once he started working, he reported his startdate, expected wages and so on. And even though he followed procedure, he still got screwed over (excuse my language).

I finished the Rose colored Blanket for my friend. I'm almost done with the pink variegated Purse for my Niece and I just started a plaid patterned blanket for my father.

Bottom line for our family (at least concerning my father or me): What can go wrong, will go wrong. lol, Now all we gotta do is make the best of the situation....

I can upload pictures again!!!!

2011-03-22T22:38:00.001-05:00

yea, nothing new.

2011-02-11T23:18:00.002-06:00

I have been thinking about writing a new post, but I can't seem to pin my mind down to a particular topic. every time I think I got an idea, I'll dismiss it for some reason or another.

so, really nothing new in my life right now. Dad got a job (finally) but other than that, not much has changed. I'll try to figure out what I'll write about and try to post something real soon!

Why oh Why...

2011-01-24T20:55:00.004-06:00

won't blogger let me upload any pics? I don't get it, they are well underneath the size limits, the right file type...

Sigh, some things just frustrate me sometimes...

Sometimes it's the small things...

2011-01-22T21:31:00.000-06:00

I'm thankful for crocheting. The way I can lose myself in a pattern, concentrating on the repetitions, counting each stitch as its made is soothing to me.
I can come home, tense from the stress at work and pick up my crochet hook, grab my yarn and continue where ever I left off and soon will find myself falling into a calming routine of single, double and treble crochets....

I'm working on two projects right now...

A rose tipped blanket for a friend, and

A pink variegated purse for my niece.

Insha'Allah I'll finish them soon.

What are you thankful for?

Book Reviews...

2011-01-18T21:01:00.003-06:00

I just finished a two day book marathon, lol. Well I guess you could sorta call it that, I started reading this book and couldn't put it down until I just finished it.

At times funny or sad, at other times a disturbing and even surprising account of daily life for a Muslim Expatriate within Saudi Arabia.

The book title is: "In the Land of Invisible Women" by Qanta Ahmed, MD.

What I found most remarkable about this book, is the unknown fact that even the men and boys suffer from their own "imprisonment" within the system of religious doctrine in the extreme form. We normally only hear about the women, how they cannot drive, or how the Mutawaeen seem to seek the complete removal of all women from the public face of society.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that women do not suffer, but I was (obviously mistaken) under the impression, that the men there on a whole just accept the situation for what it is and exploit it to their favor.
I suppose I need to hereby express my ignorance of the fact that even men there are uncomfortable and feel emasculated and powerless by the way the Mutawaeen accost anybody who does not behave/dress in a "proper" way. I was somewhat aware of the fact that this generation of Saudis fall back to Bluetooth and other modern age devices to "date or even hunt" young Saudi females. I just wasn't aware of just how stifling such a societal upbringing can be for young adults.

I am gladdened to read that there are Males there that are patrons and empowerers of Saudi women, and help guide them towards educational and professional success.

And I weep for all the young children and women who suffer abuse and death in their everyday lives. May Allah (swt) grant them peace.

The authors description of her Hajj and Ummrah make me want to hop on the next plane and head to Mecca.

Her journey throughout this book, of a westernized woman who rarely gave her Islamic faith any deep thought, to a woman who recognizes her intricate role within the Islamic Ummah is fascinating.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone, even if it is just to learn a bit more about life within Saudi Arabia. It is so much more than just that, and I'm sure that many more books can dissect the enigma that Saudi culture is to us Western bred people, but this is very relatable book that will make you worry and laugh with its author as she moves from one mishap, to another.

2010 in a nutshell

2011-01-16T21:31:00.003-06:00

Since Houda Tagged anybody who hasn't done this, I'll accept the tag and here goes:

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

hmm, I guess I gotta say honestly I haven't really done all that much in 2010 that I've never done before, unless working for a different company counts?

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions of 2009-2010, and did you make more for this year?

Sorta, I lost some of the weight I wanted too, but not all. And in the meantime I have come to love my body for how it is and have resolved to simply keep it healthy. I suppose that may count as a resolution...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, my dear sister in Germany. A healthy Baby Boy named Yassin!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, My beloved Opa passed last summer. May Allah (swt) show mercy upon him.

5. What countries did you visit?

umm, none this year I stayed within the USA borders.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Insha'Allah a chance to see my sister, and get married.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

the Day my Opa passed...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a full-time job after 6 months of part-time odd jobs.

9. What was your biggest failure?

running up my credit cards during my months of joblessness.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, alhamdulillah

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My Kindle back in Jan. It was a belated present to me and I simply adore having a million books (ok, maybe thats a bit high a number) right there in my bag.

12. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

A close friend...

13. Where did most of your money go?

Bills, Bills, Bills, and groceries lol (gotta eat)

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My Sisters completion of her Masters Paper and the Birth of her first son.

15. What song(s) will always remind you of 2010?

Darius Rucker's: It won't be like this for long

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder?

Happier

ii. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner

iii. richer or poorer?

Well, in terms of money, many would consider me poorer, but I am surrounded by my fathers love, and the love of my family, so I would consider myself to be richer.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Horseback riding

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about bills

19. What was your favourite TV program?

Chase

20. Do you hate anyone in 2010 that you didn't hate this time last year?

no, I think hate is too strong a word...

21. What was the best book you read?

Oh, man there are too many to really get it boiled down to just one. I really loved "Barefoot in Baghdad" and "In the land of Invisible Women"

22. What did you want and get?

Finally finding myself and figuring out what I want in life

23. What was your favourite film in 2010?

Avatar (I know, I love them SciFi flicks, hey I'm a geek, remember?)

24. What did you do on your birthday?

Worked

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Comfy

26. What kept you sane?

My books

27. What political issue stirred you the most?

hmm, didn't follow politics this year, part of what kept me sane

28. Who did you miss?

My friend Nadine in Germany whom I haven't seen in 3 years

29. Who was the best new person you met?

Lynette, one of my Co-workers...

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010?

I learned that no matter how dissolute your situation seems, if you just pray about it everyday you will have the strength to take each day at a time and will be able to move on. Also I learned more about who I am as a person, things I can deal with, some things I thought I would be always able to tolerate I found out I couldn't. I learned that one thing I want most is to be able to start a family and have a place to call home with my loved ones.
===========================

So, anyone who hasn't yet done this one, or anyone who wants to just reminisce about last year, I TAG YOU!! lol

Book Club

2011-01-13T22:46:00.004-06:00

Ok pple,

I attended my first ever Book Club meeting today and it was: Awesome!

Number one, the Hospitality of the sister was great, I mean, she went all out with snack foods for the movie, she made traditional Dinner, and even had dessert! Oh, and then when I was leaving she also had a goody bag, but I'm getting ahead of myself...

The book of the month was: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

I arrived and we all introduced ourselves (or rather, I did since I was the new kid on the block). We sat down and gave first impressions of the book and waited a bit for the other members to arrive. They actually never did so it was only me, the host and another sister. Which was really nice, I was able to tell them a bit about me, and learn a bit about them and it was a nice relaxed atmosphere. I wasn't uncomfortable and felt like I was accepted for who I am.

So we watched the movie and snacked on the finger food and compared the movie to the book. In some places it clung to how the book was, but in other places it deviated pretty heavily. Overall, the movie was ok. Might have been better as a standalone, separate from the book, but whatever....
After, The host served us a awesome array of foods, Salad, a lentil soup that you eat with a fresh lime squeezed into it. A pastry looking dish filled with ground meat and the rice with beef. (so if your reading, please comment and write the names down, that way I can look up the recipes).

One thing I realized as I was driving home was this: i for whatever reasons had no problems telling these sisters that I was looking for a Husband. I've normally never told that to anyone in the community. Hmm, I think it has to do with the fact that in NJ, the "Aunties" were very pushy, and I don't believe I was ready for marriage yet. Now that I am, I am open to the idea of having the local Ummah helping me. I'd def prefer to meet someone who is local and known within the ummah then someone online.

After dinner, we had a lovely chocolate cake (and I feel guilty that I was the only one who finished her cake slice) and White Tea. We chatted some more and then since it was now right about 5 hours later, I straightened my Hijab, got my boots on and bid my fellow sisters goodbye.
At the door, our gracious host handed me a goody bag which was filled with a notepad, a gift box of chocolates and a key chain.

I dunno, but I really love Arab Hospitality, but I feel like I should have brought something as a present. Maybe next time I'll bring something with me. I did offer to host the club, but making them drive an hour and bout 15 min might be too much. Esp since some of the sisters have kids.

So the final verdict: I'm def looking forward to the next Meeting!

Mr. Speedy Gonzalez

2011-01-07T21:20:00.003-06:00

So I got an email late last night (I got home late from the airport, was picking up my grandmother who is spending a week with us) form a guy requesting email contact. I figured heck, why not?

So, I send my email and say: "Sure, lets talk"

Immediately a email comes back from him asking for a pic and anything and all that I am willing to share.

So I send him a pic, and give him my short version of my life and his next email is pretty much:

"Can you meet me in Dallas next weekend? Nothing is around your area and we could have a nice dinner and if ou decide we would be a good match we can go to the masjid right away and get married. Are you opposed to becoming someones wife Islamically within a week? I was married before and want to have a wife asap (no kidding he really used that acronym). I am against talking on the phone or dating so I want to do this as soon as you can get here."

Umm, yea sorry but no. I don't think I can marry someone within a week, thats waay too fast for me, I have to be comfortable with someone and that does not happen overnight.

I sent him a polite email, wished him well and said that I didn't believe our values are similar and I didn't want to waste his time since it is so valuable.

Now he's been sending me emails nonstop asking me if he can come to my masjod and ask them about me and offereing to let me do the same since that is the best way to find out anything about someone.

Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into with wanting to get married? Why am I attracting all the wierdos? Or is it not just me and others experience the same? How many of these do I need to wade through to get to someone of marriage material?

New Year

2010-12-31T22:57:00.004-06:00

As I'm typing this, the min are ticking down until we start off a New Year. Everyone will be at one party or another, drinking the beverages (alcoholic or non), reminiscing about all that happened these past 12 months and holding hands with old and new friends to ring in the new year. They will eagerly await the fireworks that are "better than last year’s" and party this final night away.
People will be making resolutions that will be more or less realistic and successful and will miss out on one simple truth:

You don't need to wait until New Years to make a resolution. It is never too late to try to be a better person, or be more active in the gym, or to finally memorize those last few Surahs.

We don't need to wait for a special time when its "Popular" to make a resolution about fitting into that new dress we bought last summer cuz we ate too much during the holiday season. We should every day strive to better ourselves, be it in our behavior, our words, our deeds or just simply our thoughts. And we should practice moderation in all we do. Overindulging in anything will only lead to aches, pains, extra pounds, or even in worst case scenario: Food poisoning and depression. (Ok, maybe I'm taking it a bit far in that example, but still).

If we do not watch our thoughts, they can get very mean, criticizing or even hurtful towards ourselves and others. What does it serve us to dwell on our problems if we won't change? Granted, a little bit of self awareness and reflection is always healthy, but dwelling and brooding upon a fault for hours or anytime you get a free moment? That must be unhealthy. How about practicing a little self love this New Year? How about every day when you wake up you tell yourself ten times: "I will accept myself for who I am." Or even: "I will not allow myself ill thought towards myself or others unless I am willing to make a change". And the number ten is just a random number I came up with. I think if we just say it once, it won't stick, but say it more often, and then it might actually stick.

And who of us hasn't been there where we think: Man, I screwed that up; I can never get that right. Or any similar thought, but how about giving yourself a break and saying: "Hey, I am human. I am not perfect, but that's O.K."

Ok, so this ended up being a bit more of random thoughts, but hey, all my posts are a bit random. Have a safe New Year’s Night All!!

this past week...

2010-12-30T21:33:00.003-06:00

... found me going from feeling pretty good to sicker than a dog and on the slow uphill of recovery. I was groggy, I succumbed to coughing fits, and I lost my voice. Well, tonight, my nose has evidently decided that it was missing out on all the fun and has joined the party. Fun.

In other news, I have no plans to bring in the new year with more than a nice long snooze. lol. I was never big on new years parties growing up (mostly cuz I was never invited) so I just tend to go to bed like any other normal night.

Mr. Houston was very understanding when I emailed him and even suggested a few home remedies which was nice. We chatted some more today and it seems like he is a very nice person. (and if you hear that proverbial BUUUT, keep reading) and we seem to also have alot in common. Or not, since he sorta dumped me cuz he had gym plans. Is it still fine since I would have dumped him 15min later cuz the Manicotti was done anyways? Why does it hurt when a guy cuts a conversation short even though you were going to do the same exact thing? Seems to me that we girls can't stand it happening to us but when we do it to them we just *shrug* and say "Deal with it".

Ahh well, I'm gonna get my book out and read some more till I finally hit the covers. If he is back before then, I'll chat some more with him, if not..... well I did say I would be on till 9/10ish and its 9:52 now.

(I just don't see myself pining and waiting around for a guy like he's my air after two chats, sorry but I just can't)

Another Tale..

2010-12-25T12:08:00.005-06:00

So, last night I got home from work and had a email in my Singlemuslim mailbox.

36year old from Houston wrote:

"How come you are wearing Hijab but your profile says No. Is that a typo?... I am serious and I would like to start a conversation."

Hmm, normally I would have gone no further than the no picture on his profile and said "Next!" but for whatever reason, I explained myself to him and that led to a two hour (or close enough) chatting session that lasted into this morning.

Mr. Serious, seems to be funny and serious in equal terms. He sound educated, isn't put off by my typos and can live with the fact that I'm a geek if I can live with the fact that hes a Jock. lol
I guess I summed it up when I told him: "I don't have to share all your hobbies as you don't have to share all of mine."

He has been married before and according to him they rushed into the marriage and didn't really know each other before they got married. Oh and she wasn't acting married, being too independent. (not sure if this should be a red flag or not). Been living in the US for 11 years and has his Masters in Engineering. His family is spread out all over the world, just like mine and he wants to have at least 3 kids.

I'm seeing sort of a Deja-vu here. He's sounding almost too good to be true, but I guess, we'll see how the next conversations go.

I did get a pic and he's not bad looking. Granted the pic is apparently a few years old so I'm waiting on the more up-to-date one.

Light at the end of the Tunnel?

2010-12-25T01:34:00.001-06:00

I may have something promising on my hands here.

More to come later today after I get some rest since its 1:30AM...

I am clearly not serious...

2010-12-24T00:56:00.002-06:00

So, I gave myself a couple of days (in East TX talk that means two), to think and pray over Mr. Controlling as he has become in my conversations with my sister.
To be quite honest, there haven't been that many of them, mostly since she is busy finishing up her Masters and her three kids keep her on her toes. So all I got from her was a noncommittal: "I really don't want to mix myself up in your love life hun. I'm here for you"

So I logged back onto SingleMuslim.com and had this message from Mr. Controlling:

"I was waiting so long for you, but I see you are clearly not serious. I block you now. Good Bye"

Umm ok then. I guess its for the best then, I was still not comfortable with this, I guess I got bad vibes from the whole Are you going to be on later? Are you talking to someone else? Here's my phone number, can I get yours? ...... You get the picture. It seemed like he had to control every aspect of the conversation and the relationship (fledgling as it may have been).

So, I just had a thought: Am I self-sabotaging? I know I want to get married and start a family before I'm 30, and that timeline is steadily creeping closer, but: If Prince Charming, or even Prince Good-Enough would walk in the door tomorrow, would I be ready? Or would I look for flaws and go: "Aha! Begone with thee!" (Think dramatic pose pointing at him lol)

I'd like to thinkl not, but then again, years of bad habits are always hard to break, right?

What Keeps me in the good 'ol USA?

2010-12-20T07:05:00.000-06:00

This question has been asked of me many times, mostly by my sister, a few times by myself and lately, by my fellow Blogger Ammena. :-) What is keeping me here? What anchors me down to this land here, not even the land into which I was born?

I think the major reason would be my Father. If he were anywhere else in the world I think I'd be more open to moving internationally. Not that I am completely opposed to it, its just something I'd have to think about long and hard because my Dad who is pretty much my security blanket, lives here. I did not have the good fortune of growing up knowing him and his steadfastness like some pple, so I am that much more attached to him.

Another reason why I have not moved before is the Good 'Ol USAF. The military, having dominated 6 years of my life, has been a huge opportunity for me. Not only have I learned many things and overcome obstacles, but I have been able to go experience things I would otherwise have not been able too. So, I am no longer active, but I am on IRR time until Feb 2012. Will I rejoin? Honestly I don't think so. I toy with the idea and it will I think always be a fall-back thing for me if things get really bad, but I am not up for going through the whole hassle of PT tests, body image issues, being Politically Correct and restraining myself from who I truly am just so I can experience the tight and sheltering community that is the Military.

My Family here in the USA, up in New Jersey, sure I miss them even here in TX, but I think besides my Grandmother and my Aunt and her kids (who I feel like a bigger sister to) I don't think I would feel all that bad of not seeing them. We don't even talk on the phone, and although we are all friends on Face Book, we hardly ever talk to each other. Is that sad? Maybe, but then again, My family has this tendency to suck you dry. They will ask and ask and ask and rarely ever give back. Also, I don't do well in big crowds and every family gathering is something I dreaded. I usually arrived late, sat with my Grandfather and then brought him home early since he too was not all that comfortable. WE were kindred spirits in a sense there I suppose. I hated having to answer the 20 hundred Questions from my Aunts about my personal life. And the only reason, is because I knew they would go and gossip about me and they didn't really care about what I told them. Just as long as it is juicy.

Would I ever move back to Germany?

Maybe, I think I would. I've mulled the idea over in my head since 2007 when my sister asked me to move in with her and her hubby till she could find me a "decent Muslim Guy". But then I listen and see the life she leads. Germany is not very openly friendly to Muslims. My sister and one of her daughters and even her husband have in separate occasions been physically attacked, She has been stared at (with the evil stare), yelled at, ignored, discriminated against and so much more. Those are the times I worry for her safety and I thank Allah (swt) that I live in a land where I can pursue my religion in the open with more acceptance. Ok, maybe not right here in the Bible Belt of Deep East Rural Texas, but I have even here only gotten weird looks and a few stares. In my years as a Muslim I have only ever been yelled at once and never been physically attacked. I admire my sister for being such a Strong person that she could still live in a place that is openly hostile to her and her family and wonder: Could I do that?

Another thing, I have always been a independent woman. Could I still be that overseas? If I didn't know the language, or in the case of Germany, I didn't have a equivalent education? I have a Associates in Logistics Management and 6 yeasr of Military Supply Functions. If there were a military base near, I'm sure I could find a job there, but how about civilian wise? Would I be able to get a job? Or would I have to rely on my husband, and then is he willing to support a woman who will stay at home and keep the house and children?

Now, I've thought that I am positive I could convince my father to move, but where too? My sister even wants to emigrate to Abu Dhabi, so would I stay near her and move to the middle east? Or go back to my roots to Germany?

Many thoughts running through my mind obviously, and I just wanted to let them out.... maybe get some input. Right now at the moment in my life, I could pick up and go tomorrow if I wanted too. I am too responsible to do taht though. I got bills, and I will pay them. So finances I suppose are really the only thing holding me. I cannot surmise leaving behind bills that I have incurred. Those are my dues I have to pay and I will them, bottom line, end of story..

And therin lies the crux: I am too responsible to ever get out of my shell, and I am to supporting towards others to ever get far, but in the end. It is who I am and I am happy being that person...

2010-12-19T15:43:00.000-06:00

As Torvald says in the play A Doll’s House: “There can be no freedom or beauty in a house that depends upon borrowing and debt”

More wierd marriage stuff:

2010-12-17T23:01:00.000-06:00

"would you let your husband change your name to Islamic name ?"

This was one of the first questions I was asked by a brother I agreed to chat with. Hmm. I told him that I was not really open to that idea of legally changing my name but I don't mind being called Amira since that's what my older Sis calls me already and he responded with:

"why u don't wanna change your name legally?"

Umm, well my name is not disrespectful, or tasteless, and I believe it would be disrespectful; towards my Father who picked out my name; to change my name legally to something else. So I replied with this and then asked the question why it seems to be so important to him that I legally have a Islamic name.

For a loong time nothing happened, then he simply says:

"my name is Fatush* is that bother you lol"

Umm, ok. Well no I figure that you will have an Arabic/Islamic name, since your originally from Morocco. lol

Anyways.... the conversation goes on and then comes this:

"do you wanna share pictures ?"

I've been talking to you for a whole 10 min and you want to share pics already? I have three up on the website and you have 6. How many more pics do you need this early in the game?

the conversation goes one and minor things don't add up, like he doesn't have family here, but he likes to take them out for dinner ... then he corrects himself by saying his future family, his wife and insha'Allah children. He lives in Dallas but is in Seattle for business at the moment.

Hmm, we'll see how this one plays out.

*Name has been changed to protect his Identity...

CousCous

2010-12-09T23:25:00.000-06:00

Well, I felt like making a Middle Eastern Dinner today. Well, it was at least halfway, instead of Pita bread, I used tortillas and since Dad forgot I was working the late shift today, He went ahead and made dinner with the meat I had set out. So the Couscous I made was more of the Veggie kind, if it then still qualifies as such.
Complete with Yellow Squash, tomatoes, leek and Spinach, it was pretty good too, but alas, Blogger (still) won't let me upload any pics, it just keeps saying uploading pic now, and then it just sits there on that screen eating up my bandwidth, no matter if I say make the pic small or large.
Oh well, Insha'Allah I'll be able to upload all the pics from the past couple of posts soon.

The search for a Husband

2010-12-02T17:09:00.000-06:00

So, In my so far 2 month search for a husband I have come across many different guys (the Joys/Horrors of Online Websites) who have been anywhere from persistent, to naive to charming.

I do have a few questions though: If I state in my profile I am only interested in relocation within the local (TX/LA) area, why do you contact me from the UK, UAE, Saudi, Africa or Pakistan?

And if I say please only contact me if you have a picture since I have provided one also, why do you contact me and have no pictures on your profile?

So far I have met a charming man from NYC who just didn't get the hint that I won't relocate, and when I asked him if he was willing to move here, he sorta just fell quiet and then proceeded to tell me he figured he could persuade me to move. Sorry but no, I just moved here a year ago out of suburbia and I am finally happy with my surroundings, so why go move back to the big bad city and be miserable all over again?

And so far thats it. I'm not counting the endless barrage of guys from other countries, that express interest in me, but I cannot see myself marrying someone who doesn't at least live in the US....

Anyone have a brother/cousin who lives in the TX/LA area who is unmarried?

Baking Bread...

2010-11-17T10:20:00.000-06:00

So ever since I moved to the US from Germany I have had one dilemma:

How to get some authentic German Bauern Brot or Brötchen? (German crispy bread soft inside or German biscuits that are the same texture and fresh they taste oh sooo good)

I have tried the recipes online, I have tried yeast breads, Quick-rise breads, all to no avail.
Yesterday I made a renewed attempt and my first try failed since the dough refused to rise. I did a quick-think and make garlic/cheese bread sticks outta them.

So I tried again, and then forgot the Bread in the oven. lol.

[I was gonna post a pic, but I keep having isues with this lately. sorry]

According to Dad's first reaction it was burned, but it wasn't black only a deeper brown than what I usually leave it in the oven for. Imagine my delight when the crust came out crispy and the bread inside was soft.

Ahh, the simply things in life that give you pleasure....

Day of Arafat

2010-11-15T05:34:00.000-06:00

I wish everyone success who will be fasting today the day of Ashura.

Insha'Allah we will all get the rewards of having our sins forgive for the previous year and the next year.

Yuck....

2010-11-12T19:51:00.000-06:00

When I even think about this it just turns my stomach. And not even cuz I'm a Muslim or don't eat Pork, its just looks so unappetizing:

Anyone else agree?

Relationships and Marriage, Whats your Take?

2010-11-11T23:40:00.000-06:00

I posed this question to my Face book friends and I got some very interesting (and a few surprising) answers. These were some of the answers:

"You should get married :)"

"Well I think the idea of marriage for one is pretty commercialized, it’s
all about looking pretty, making a huge party, inviting your whole family,
spending lots of money, going on a honeymoon etc.... I find the idea
ridiculous but hey some pple like that."

"Relationships wow? Well coming from who I have dated I say being single
and doing what you want in your life is what you should do...Its great being in
love but it’s also great being your own person...Love is a strong word and when used can hurt at times."

"Marriage is a "till death do us part" commitment that is made between two people and God. I am excited about the prospect of finding the man that God intends for me to be with for the rest of my life. I have been married
before, but I know now that he wasn't "the one." God was not involved in our
marriage at all, and when he finally finds me, I'll know it, and make
sure that our marriage is a 3-way relationship."

So, most surprising for me was the second quote coming from my own brother. I wasn't
aware of the view he had upon the marriage industry. But then, since I more of less share his opinion I cannot complain, can I? And to further explain, I mean with that that I agree in that a man and woman can have a perfectly "magical" day with just Allah (swt) as a witness and maybe one or two others. Why go to so much length to spend and spend money (from gown to hall to decorations, band and cake and still so much more), when you could use that money and go to Hajji together? Or donate it to a charity? Or even use
the time it would have taken to organize all of it and spend it getting to know each other or volunteering together at a shelter, or similar?

I guess my take upon this all is that you can have a marriage without the pompous wedding day, as long as you keep together and keep Allah (swt) within your lives. Two Christians (or insert religion of choice) will have a happier and longer lasting marriage than maybe say a Christian and an atheist. The values that the two share too separate. Shared values and goals are another thing that will help your marriage last. If the two of you want kids it will be easier than if one of you is on the fence about it, or doesn't want any.

So many couples are focused on finding that Mister/Misses right and feeling that "it" factor in the first meeting that they often neglect compatible factors and maybe even choose to let go of Mr. /Mrs. Good Enough for the Elusive Mr./Mrs. Perfect. They forget that maybe the “Good Enough” candidate might provide them with enough of their needs that the wants they lack are minimal. And we all have to remember that we all have flaws. None of us are perfect, so who are we to judge someone simply because they wore a old fashioned sweater to our meeting, or talks with a lisp, or maybe doesn’t like the same music you do?

Is there any point to my post you might ask? Not really, only a reminder that we need to focus upon what on the inside and trust in Allah (swt) to help us in our decisions making that we may find the right candidate. We also should try not to get too hung up on looks since 20/30 years down the road they will not be there. (and neither will ours be either)

So here now is the opportunity for all of my readers (the few still out there) what is your take on marriage? How did you decide on your significant other?

Promotions

2010-10-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

Got promoted two weeks ago and still trying to get my head around it, Allahu Alim.
I am a Zone Mgr now, which in the wonderful world of "Wally World" means I am above the Cashiers, their supervisors, the Customer Service Girls, the Cart Pushers, the People Greeters and the Candy Department. Woohoo! lol.
No really Alhamdullilah. This promotion has beena long time coming, and even though a few years back I could not have seen me working at "Wally World", I am glad, Alhamdullilah that I have the opportunity to gain this experiance and grow in this position. I thank Allah (swt) that within this rocky time of not having a job for soo many pple (and trust me, I went through it this year and it is NOT fun), that I have found some stability in my life again and that I can stop worrying about getting by and start living again. I can now start to devote more of my time (that was spent searching for a job) to Islam.

My apologies about the infrequenc of my posts, but as I said, I have had other priorities in my life and maybe I'll be able to devote some more time to this. I have many things to tell you about, new project pictures to show you and more stories about my life with which to bore you, lmao!

Arranged Marriages...

2010-08-29T13:04:00.000-05:00

So, here's a question:

How you you get an arranged marriage, (or arrange one yourself), if you do not have a ton of Aunties to look for you? Oh and you are 3 hours from the nearest Islamic Center. Oh and your Sister in Blood and Islam lives halfway across the globe...

A puzzle I am trying to figure out......

Asalaamu aleikum Ya'All!!

2010-08-14T17:02:00.000-05:00

So, This will be my third Ramadan.
Insha'Allah, I will be able to fast and make all my prayers this year around. I have been able to either Fast or make prayers. Hmm, I see a trend growing.... lol Well. This year, (and yes I do know it has started already) I have resolved to do the following and concentrate on them more than anything else:

Read the entire Quran
perform my Prayers on time
do not get drawn into gossiping or getting angry at others and verbalizing it (even just to myself in my thoughts)
get out to the closest mosque (2hours away!) for at least one community iftar
adhere to the Fast

So, Insha'Allah, I will be able to hold to these all. This may mean I will not be posting during the month, but we will see what I can manage...

Insha'Allah all your prayers will be heard and your Fast be rewarded!!

Ramadan Again...

2010-08-10T23:28:00.000-05:00

Ramadan kareem to all of you out there! May your fasting and duas berewarded by Allah (swt)...

Blah...

2010-08-06T16:14:00.000-05:00

Even though Ramadan is literally right around the corner, I haven't been feeling too good lately or even excited. I guess when you are feeling confused and a bit depressed anything can set you off.
Insha'Allah I'll be back to my Blogging self real soon...

Lately,...

2010-07-23T08:33:00.000-05:00

I have been extra creative lately, or a least spent the majority of my time creating things (as you can tell from the recent posts).

Otherwise in my life nothing much has been going on. I am going for an interview today (in a few hours actually), Insha'Allah I will get away from this dreaded weekend night shift I have been plagued with the past 6 months.

Wish me luck!

Grocery Bag...

2010-07-21T20:59:00.000-05:00

My dad was complaining about all the plastic bags we had laying around, (who doesn't know that problem?) so I researched some patterns online and found this one on CrochetDude's blog.

So here it is: I shortened the pattern a bit, since we don't want to have a whole tone of them in there, trying to cut down on what we keep around the house.

And while I was finishing up another square on the other blanket earlier, the Cat was all over my yarn, trying her best to "kill" it.....

But Alas, her mission failed, and tired, she fell asleep upon it.

In other news:, I broke the 200lbs mark the other week, am now a whopping 198lbs and still losing. Well more inches than anything, but I'll start trying to add more cardio to my gym time. I need to get down to 170lbs, thats my goal, Insha'Allah.

One Down, another on it's way and a Long Journey Ahead....

2010-07-20T18:19:00.000-05:00

Now doesn't that title sound intriguing? Sorry to disappoint, not as much as it all sounds like going on here. I just completed another blanket, this one is for a sister who is expecting a healthy baby boy, Insha'Allah. Since she lives up north I made her a blanket out of the fuzzy Baby Boucle yarn, that when put together creates a wonderful soft and warm blanket.

Now the one I started working on, is something new (I know, almost anything is something new, but I'm just starting out in this "crochet every nice pattern at least once" -phase in my life) It's the traditional "granny" squares in a beige, green and multi colored yarn from Red Heart and I got two 4-square strips so far and started on my third.

In other news:

Remember my so-called Dilemma? Well I ordered the baby blue Cardigan from Shukr and it is a wonderfully heavy garment that will provide me with much warmth on my upcoming trip.

Thats right, I am going to visit my Sister in Germany again, (although this time it is on a more joyous occasion) and I'll be there for about 3 weeks total. Man, I'm gonna hate the cold and really appreciate the hot/humid/warm Southern Weather I've been getting accustomed too.

The cat got her first shots, full check-up and de-worming done yesterday, and she behaved herself like the little Champ she is. She is a healthy, 1.8lbs, 7week old kitten now.

P.S. Ain't this post just full of Hyperlinks??? hehehe

Blanket #3

2010-07-06T17:17:00.000-05:00

I just finished the third baby blanket. It is yellow squares with a yellow/white airy border. As there are a lot of "hole/negative space" in this one, it may be better as a bed coverlet.

So the light green with white border blanket has been sent out to the sister who requested it, My sincere wishes and Duas for good health and happiness for her and her family go with it.

If you want anything specific, let me know. I'm not up to making actual garments yet, but, Insha'Allah, I'll get there at some point.

Wishlist:

2010-07-06T11:52:00.001-05:00

This is on my wishlist from Shukr, but they only have the bright barn red color left over...

I figured, this was a perfect solution to my sorta dilemma: I will be visiting my Sister and her family in September and was looking for something easy to wear aound the house. Last time, I was only ther for a short week and wore my abaya's, I'll be there for 2 weeks, Insha'Allah, and will mostt likely do the same thing, was just looking for something different. Any other suggestions?

2010-07-03T15:05:00.001-05:00

"It was the first religion that preached and practiced democracy; for, in the mosque when the call from the Minaret is sounded and the worshippers are gathered together, the democracy of Islam is embodied five times a day when the peasant and the king kneel side by side and proclaim, "God alone is great." I have been struck over and over again by this indivisible unity of Islam that makes a man distinctively a brother."

THE LATE SIROJINI NAIDU - A GREAT HINDU POETESS, RIGHTLY DESCRIBED AS THE "NIGHTINGALE OF INDIA."

I bought new Hijabs Ya'all!

2010-07-02T13:58:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I let myself indulge in some new things, so here is the website I found: Lady Muslima. They have some really neat styles out there, but what I fell in love with are the pullover type one piecee hijabs they sell. I bought two of them:

This one is sorta like the Kuwaiti Hijab, the outer Peach part is attached to the white underscarf, but what I noticed right away, unlike the Kuwaiti scarfs, this one was not as tight as they are, it was a softer material and more flexible. This is nice since it has the border integrated into the fabric.

This next one I actually got in the color white. Be warned, you'll need a underscarf for the light colored one, as it is slightly see-through. This one is very nice also, it is longer, so it covers more front and back. You have the option of wearing it normal, or using the pull-string

(as she does in the picture on her left shoulder).

Well, prices are pretty good for the quality, and the shipping didn't take a long time. I would def recommend this to any sister out there who is looking for a quick scarf that doesn't look all frumpy as the regular Amiras can look like. I think these will be my new favorite scarfs to Fly with.

Proof that the Prophet (pbuh) did not marry a small child!

2010-07-02T13:27:00.000-05:00

I came across this at Stylish Muslimahs blog and I am glad, to finally be able to have an awnser for those who say these hateful things. I wanted to re-post the article she had up on her page since I think it speaks for itself and here it is:

(The article was originally taken from here)

The Ancient Myth Exposedby T.O. ShanavasA Christian friend asked me once,
“Will you marry your seven year old daughter to a fifty year old man?” I
kept my silence. He continued, “If you would not, how can you approve the
marriage of an innocent seven year old, Ayesha, with your Prophet?” I told
him, “I don’t have an answer to your question at this time.” My friend
smiled and left me with a thorn in the heart of my faith.

Most Muslims answer that such marriages were accepted in those days.
Otherwise, people would have objected to Prophet’s marriage with Ayesha.However,
such an explanation would be gullible only for those who are naive enough to
believe it. But unfortunately, I was not satisfied with the answer.The Prophet
was an exemplary man. All his actions were most virtuous so that we, Muslims,
can emulate them. However, most people in our Islamic Center of Toledo,
including me, would not think of betrothing our seven years daughter to a
fifty-two year-old man. If a parent agrees to such a wedding, most people, if
not all, would look down upon the father and the old husband.

In 1923, registrars of marriage in Egypt were instructed not to register
and issue official certificates of marriage for brides less than sixteen and
grooms less than eighteen years of age. Eight years later, the Law of the
Organization and Procedure of Sheriah courts of 1931 consolidated the above
provision by not hearing the marriage disputes involving brides less than
sixteen and grooms less than eighteen years old. (Women in Muslim Family
Law, John Esposito, 1982). It shows that even in the Muslim majority country of
Egypt the child marriages are unacceptable.So, I believed, without solid
evidence other than my reverence to my Prophet, that the stories of the marriage
of seven-year-old Ayesha to 50-year-old Prophet are only myths.

However, my long pursuit in search of the truth on this matter proved my
intuition correct. My Prophet was a gentleman. And he did not marry an
innocent seven or nine year old girl. The age of Ayesha has been erroneously
reported in the hadith literature. Furthermore, I think that the narratives
reporting this event are highly unreliable. Some of the hadith (traditions of
the Prophet) regarding Ayesha’s age at the time of her wedding with prophet are
problematic. I present the following evidences against the acceptance of the
fictitious story by Hisham ibn ‘Urwah and to clear the name of my Prophet as an
irresponsible old man preying on an innocent little girl.

EVIDENCE #1: Reliability of Source

Most of the narratives printed in the books of hadith are reported only by
Hisham ibn `Urwah, who was reporting on the authority of his father. First of
all, more people than just one, two or three should logically have reported. It
is strange that no one from Medina, where Hisham ibn `Urwah lived the first 71
years of his life narrated the event, despite the fact that his Medinan pupils
included the well-respected Malik ibn Anas.
The origins of the report of the narratives of this event are people from
Iraq, where Hisham is reported to have shifted after living in Medina for most
of his life.Tehzibu’l-Tehzib, one of the most well known books on the life and
reliability of the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet, reports that
according to Yaqub ibn Shaibah: “He [Hisham] is highly reliable, his narratives
are acceptable, except what he narrated after moving over to Iraq”
(Tehzi’bu’l-tehzi’b, Ibn Hajar Al-`asqala’ni, Dar Ihya al-turath al-Islami, 15th
century. Vol 11, p. 50).
It further states that Malik ibn Anas objected on those narratives of
Hisham which were reported through people in Iraq: “I have been told that Malik
objected on those narratives of Hisham which were reported through people of
Iraq” (Tehzi’b u’l-tehzi’b, Ibn Hajar
Al-`asqala’ni, Dar Ihya al-turath
al-Islami, Vol.11, p. 50).Mizanu’l-ai`tidal, another book on the life sketches
of the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet reports: “When he was old,
Hisham’s memory suffered quite badly” (Mizanu’l-ai`tidal, Al-Zahbi,
Al-Maktabatu’l-athriyyah, Sheikhupura, Pakistan, Vol. 4, p. 301).

CONCLUSION: Based on these references, Hisham’s memory was failing and his
narratives while in Iraq were unreliable. So, his narrative of
Ayesha’s
marriage and age are unreliable.

CHRONOLOGY: It is vital also to keep in mind some of the pertinent dates in
the history of Islam:
pre-610 CE: Jahiliya (pre-Islamic age) before revelation
610 CE: First revelation
610 CE: AbuBakr accepts Islam
613 CE: Prophet Muhammad begins preaching publicly.
615 CE: Emigration to Abyssinia
616 CE: Umar bin al Khattab accepts Islam
620 CE: Generally accepted betrothal of Ayesha to the Prophet
622 CE: Hijrah (emigation to Yathrib, later renamed Medina)
623/624 CE: Generally accepted year of Ayesha living with the Prophet

EVIDENCE #2: The Betrothal

According to Tabari (also according to Hisham ibn ‘Urwah, Ibn Hunbal and
Ibn Sad), Ayesha was betrothed at seven years of age and began to cohabit with
the Prophet at the age of nine years.However, in another work, Al-Tabari says:
“All four of his [Abu Bakr’s] children were born of his two wives during the
pre-Islamic period” (Tarikhu’l-umam wa’l-mamlu’k, Al-Tabari (died 922), Vol. 4,
p. 50, Arabic, Dara’l-fikr, Beirut, 1979).If Ayesha was betrothed in 620 CE (at
the age of seven) and started to live with the Prophet in 624 CE (at the age of
nine), that would indicate that she was born in 613 CE and was nine when she
began living with the Prophet. Therefore, based on one account of Al-Tabari, the
numbers show that Ayesha must have born in 613 CE, three years after the
beginning of revelation (610 CE). Tabari also states that Ayesha was born in the
pre-Islamic era (in Jahiliya). If she was born before 610 CE, she would have
been at least 14 years old when she began living with the Prophet. Essentially,
Tabari contradicts himself.

CONCLUSION: Al-Tabari is unreliable in the matter of determining Ayesha’s
age.

EVIDENCE # 3: The Age of Ayesha in Relation to the Age of
Fatima

According to Ibn Hajar, “Fatima was born at the time the Ka`bah was
rebuilt, when the Prophet was 35 years old... she was five years older that
Ayesha” (Al-isabah fi tamyizi’l-sahabah, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, Vol. 4, p. 377,
Maktabatu’l-Riyadh al-haditha, al-Riyadh, 1978).If Ibn Hajar’s statement is
factual, Ayesha was born when the Prophet was 40 years old. If Ayesha was
married to the Prophet when he was 52 years old, Ayesha’s age at marriage
would
be 12 years.

CONCLUSION: Ibn Hajar, Tabari an Ibn Hisham and Ibn Humbal contradict each
other. So, the marriage of Ayesha at seven years of age is a myth.

EVIDENCE #4: Ayesha’s Age in relation to Asma’s Age

According to Abda’l-Rahman ibn abi zanna’d: “Asma was 10 years older than
Ayesha (Siyar
A`la’ma’l-nubala’, Al-Zahabi, Vol. 2, p. 289, Arabic, Mu’assasatu’l-risalah, Beirut, 1992).
According to Ibn Kathir: “She [Asma] was elder to her sister [Ayesha] by 10 years” (Al-Bidayah wa’l-nihayah, Ibn Kathir, Vol. 8, p. 371, Dar al-fikr al-`arabi, Al-jizah, 1933).According to Ibn Kathir: “She [Asma] saw the killing of her son during that year [73 AH], as we have already mentioned, and five days later she herself died. According to other narratives, she died not after five days but 10 or 20, or a few days over 20, or 100 days later. The most well known narrative is that of 100 days later. At the time of her death, she was 100 years old.” (Al-Bidayah wa’l-nihayah, Ibn Kathir, Vol. 8, p. 372, Dar al-fikr al-`arabi, Al-jizah, 1933)

According to Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani: “She [Asma] lived a hundred years and
died in 73 or 74 AH.” (Taqribu’l-tehzib, Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani, p. 654, Arabic,
Bab fi’l-nisa’, al-harfu’l-alif, Lucknow).

According to almost all the historians, Asma, the elder sister of Ayesha
was 10 years older than Ayesha. If Asma was 100 years old in 73 AH, she should
have been 27 or 28 years old at the time of the hijrah.

If Asma was 27 or 28 years old at the time of hijrah, Ayesha should have
been 17 or 18 years old. Thus, Ayesha, being 17 or 18 years of at the time of
Hijra, she started to cohabit with the Prophet between at either 19 to 20 years
of age.
Based on Hajar, Ibn Katir, and Abda’l-Rahman ibn abi zanna’d, Ayesha’s age
at the time she began living with the Prophet would be 19 or 20. In Evidence #
3, Ibn Hajar suggests that Ayesha was 12 years old and in Evidence #4 he
contradicts himself with a 17 or 18-year-old Ayesha. What is the correct age,
twelve or eighteen?

CONCLUSION: Ibn Hajar is an unreliable source for Ayesha’s age.

EVIDENCE #5: The Battles of Badr and Uhud

A narrative regarding Ayesha’s participation in Badr is given in the hadith
of Muslim, (Kitabu’l-jihad wa’l-siyar, Bab karahiyati’l-isti`anah fi’l-ghazwi
bikafir). Ayesha, while narrating the journey to Badr and one of the important
events that took place in that journey, says: “when we reached Shajarah”.
Obviously, Ayesha was with the group travelling towards Badr.
A narrative regarding Ayesha’s participation in the Battle of Uhud is given
in Bukhari (Kitabu’l-jihad wa’l-siyar, Bab Ghazwi’l-nisa’ wa qitalihinna
ma`a’lrijal): “Anas reports that on the day of Uhud, people could not stand
their ground around the Prophet. [On that day,] I saw Ayesha and Umm-i-Sulaim,
they had pulled their dress up from their feet [to avoid any hindrance in their
movement].” Again, this indicates that Ayesha was present in the Battles of
Uhud and Badr.
It is narrated in Bukhari (Kitabu’l-maghazi, Bab Ghazwati’l-khandaq wa
hiya’l-ahza’b): “Ibn `Umar states that the Prophet did not permit me to
participate in Uhud, as at that time, I was 14 years old. But on the day of
Khandaq, when I was 15 years old, the Prophet permitted my participation.”
Based on the above narratives, (a) the children below 15 years were sent
back and were not allowed to participate in the Battle of Uhud, and (b) Ayesha
participated in the Battles of Badr and Uhud

CONCLUSION: Ayesha’s participation in the Battles of Badr and Uhud clearly
indicates that she was not nine years old but at least 15 years old. After all,
women used to accompany men to the battlefields to help them, not to be a burden
on them. This account is another contradiction
regarding Ayesha’s age.

EVIDENCE #6: Surat al-Qamar (The Moon)

According to the generally accepted tradition, Ayesha was born about eight
years before hijrah.
But according to another narrative in Bukhari, Ayesha is reported to have said: “I was a young girl (jariyah in Arabic)” when Surah Al-Qamar was revealed (Sahih Bukhari, kitabu’l-tafsir, Bab Qaulihi Bal al-sa`atu Maw`iduhum wa’l-sa`atu adha’ wa amarr).
Chapter 54 of the Quran was revealed eight years before hijrah (The Bounteous Koran, M.M. Khatib, 1985), indicating that it was revealed in 614 CE. If Ayesha started living with the Prophet at the age of nine in 623 CE or 624 CE, she was a newborn infant (sibyah in Arabic) at the time that Surah Al-Qamar (The Moon) was revealed. According to the above tradition, Ayesha was actually a young girl, not an infant in the year of revelation of Al-Qamar. Jariyah means young playful girl (Lane’s Arabic English Lexicon).

So, Ayesha, being a jariyah not a sibyah (infant), must be somewhere
between 6-13 years old at the time of revelation of Al-Qamar, and therefore must
have been 14-21 years at the time she married the Prophet.

CONCLUSION: This tradition also contradicts the marriage of Ayesha at the
age of nine.

EVIDENCE #7: Arabic Terminology

According to a narrative reported by Ahmad ibn Hanbal, after the death of
the Prophet’s first wife Khadijah, when Khaulah came to the Prophet advising
him to marry again, the Prophet asked her regarding the choices she had in mind.
Khaulah said: “You can marry a virgin (bikr) or a woman who has already been
married (thayyib)”. When the Prophet asked the identity of the bikr (virgin),
Khaulah mentioned Ayesha’s name.
All those who know the Arabic language are aware that the word bikr in the Arabic language is not used for an immature nine-year-old girl.

The correct word for a young playful girl, as stated earlier, is jariyah.
Bikr on the other hand, is used for an unmarried lady without conjugal
experience prior to marriage, as we understand the word “virgin” in English.
Therefore, obviously a nine-year-old girl is not a “lady” (bikr) (Musnad Ahmad
ibn Hanbal, Vol. 6, p. .210, Arabic, Dar Ihya al-turath al-`arabi,
Beirut).

CONCLUSION: The literal meaning of the word, bikr (virgin), in the above
hadith is “adult woman with no sexual experience prior to marriage.” Therefore,
Ayesha was an adult woman at the time of her marriage.

EVIDENCE #8. The Qur’anic Text

All Muslims agree that the Quran is the book of guidance. So, we need to
seek the guidance from the Quran to clear the smoke and confusion created by the
eminent men of the classical period of Islam in the matter of Ayesha’s age
at her marriage. Does the Quran allow or disallow marriage of an immature child of seven years of age?
There are no verses that explicitly allow such marriage. There is a verse, however, that guides Muslims in their duty to raise an orphaned child. The Quran’s guidance on the topic of raising orphans is also valid in the case of our own children. The verse states: “And make not over your property (property of the orphan), which Allah had made a (means of) support for you, to the weak of understanding, and maintain them out of it, clothe them and give them good education. And test them until they reach the age of marriage. Then if you find them maturity of intellect, make over them their property...” (Quran, 4:5-6).

In the matter of children who have lost a parent, a Muslim is ordered to
(a) feed them, (b) clothe them, (c) educate them, and (d) test them for maturity
“until the age of marriage” before entrusting them with management of
finances.
Here the Quranic verse demands meticulous proof of their intellectual and
physical maturity by objective test results before the age of marriage in order
to entrust their property to them.In light of the above verses, no responsible
Muslim would hand over financial management to a seven- or nine-year-old
immature girl. If we cannot trust a seven-year-old to manage financial matters,
she cannot be intellectually or physically fit for marriage.
Ibn Hambal (Musnad Ahmad ibn Hambal, vol.6, p. 33 and 99) claims that nine-year-old Ayesha was rather more interested in playing with toy-horses than taking up the
responsible task of a wife. It is difficult to believe, therefore, that AbuBakr, a great believer among Muslims, would betroth his immature seven-year-old daughter to the 50-year-old Prophet. Equally difficult to imagine is that the Prophet would marry an immature seven-year-old girl.Another important duty demanded from the guardian of a child is to educate them.

Let us ask the question, “How many of us believe that we can educate our
children satisfactorily before they reach the age of seven or nine years?” The
answer is none. Logically, it is an impossible task to educate a child
satisfactorily before the child attains the age of seven. Then, how can we
believe that Ayesha was educated satisfactorily at the claimed age of seven at
the time of her marriage?

AbuBakr was a more judicious man than all of us. So, he definitely would
have judged that Ayesha was a child at heart and was not satisfactorily educated
as demanded by the Quran. He would not have married her to anyone. If a proposal
of marrying the immature and yet to be educated seven-year-old Ayesha came to
the Prophet, he would have rejected it outright because neither the Prophet nor
AbuBakr would violate any clause in the Quran.

CONCLUSION: The marriage of Ayesha at the age of seven years would violate
the maturity clause or requirement of the Quran. Therefore, the story of the
marriage of the seven-year-old immature Ayesha is a myth.

EVIDENCE #9: Consent in Marriage

A woman must be consulted and must agree in order to make a marriage valid
(Mishakat al Masabiah, translation by James Robson, Vol. I, p. 665).
Islamically, credible permission from women is a prerequisite for a marriage to
be valid.

By any stretch of the imagination, the permission given by an immature
seven-year-old girl cannot be valid authorization for marriage.
It is inconceivable that AbuBakr, an intelligent man, would take seriously
the permission of a seven-year-old girl to marry a 50-year-old man.
Similarly, the Prophet would not have accepted the permission given by a
girl who, according to the hadith of Muslim, took her toys with her when she
went live with Prophet.

CONCLUSION: The Prophet did not marry a seven-year-old Ayesha because it
would have violated the requirement of the valid permission clause of the
Islamic Marriage Decree. Therefore, the Prophet married an intellectually and
physically mature lady Ayesha.

SUMMARY:It was neither an Arab tradition to give away girls in marriage at
an age as young as seven or nine years, nor did the Prophet marry Ayesha at such
a young age. The people of Arabia did not object to this marriage because it
never happened in the manner it has been narrated.Obviously, the narrative
of the marriage of nine-year-old Ayesha by Hisham ibn `Urwah cannot be held true
when it is contradicted by many other reported narratives. Moreover, there is
absolutely no reason to accept the narrative of Hisham ibn `Urwah as true when
other scholars, including Malik ibn Anas, view his narrative while in Iraq, as
unreliable. The quotations from Tabari, Bukhari and Muslim show they contradict
each other regarding Ayesha’s age.
Furthermore, many of these scholars contradict themselves in their own
records. Thus, the narrative of Ayesha’s age at the time of the marriage is not
reliable due to the clear contradictions seen in the works of classical scholars
of Islam.Therefore, there is absolutely no reason to believe that the
information on Ayesha’s age is accepted as true when there are adequate grounds
to reject it as myth. Moreover, the Quran rejects the marriage of immature girls
and boys as well as entrusting them with responsibilities.

T.O. Shanavas is a physician based in Michigan. This article first
appeared in The Minaret in March 1999.If this does not provide enough evidence
for you, there's more here, here
and here
and I am sure there are many more sources out there if you pull your finger out
and search for the evidence instead of just believing what people tell you
with no real substance to back up their claims whatsoever.

Missing the Ummah...

2010-07-02T03:09:00.000-05:00

I've been getting this feeling lately of being lonely. not so much of personal contact, I got my Dad, there's Sandy who i work with and we're sorta friends. Sure I miss my non-Muslim friends up in NJ, even though they never understood why I choose to embrace Islam. I spent 7 years knowing Jen, 4 years knowing Karin. Two of the best pple I've met here in the USA.

Jen has always inspired me to go after what I want, no matter what other pple say and be self-assured, Karin has taught me that there is a time for diplomacy, and then there is a time to stand up, speak my *Damn* mind and stand strong n the face of adversity.

Two pple I miss alot, but I was talking more of Muslim community. Here in East TX, there is not much of a community. If there are Muslims, I do not see them. but even in NJ, after I returned from Kuwait, I went to the local mosque once. Once. I returned from Kuwait Aug 2008. All the numbers of the sisters that I have in my cellphone, they are from the beginning of me visiting that mosque. I was invited to 1 sisters home once. I dunno why it is bothering me so much now, but I miss the Ummah, not for what it is, but for what it could be.
Sure, the phone works both ways, but to be honest I am shy. Unless I know someone, I will not call them and invite myself over. Especially as a unmarried sister. The constant pressure that was put upon us to "come and meet my: (insert single male relative here)" you two would be sooo good together! Why can't the good 'ol Aunties rather ask us if we need help with understanding Islam? If we would like to learn how to read the Quran? I dunno, help us further our Deen? I know a husband is half of our Deen, but please, unless we understand and believe Islam in our hearts, it may only be an empty gesture.

Ach, well this was just a mini rant at 3am, hope it sorta made sense to you all.

I suppose I'll try to get some sleep Insha'Allah.

Salaams

Updates on Crocheting...

2010-06-30T15:35:00.000-05:00

So, I finished tha shawl I was working on a few nights back and was wondering what to start next. I was gonna make a babyblanket in a puff stitch in the lavender, but I still have this ball of yellow left over from the other babyblanket I did. I figured I'll try doing this one pattern that lets me make the blanket one little square at a time, joining it with the rest as we go along. Never did this before, so I figured why not?

I started two days ago and got four of the nine strips so far:

Thats the kitty laying there, the nameless one since I am having the hardest time trying to name her...

It's a bit tricky to crochet when she thinks that the yarn is there for her to snatch at and chew on, hehe. I suppose that is the way of life for a kitten.

Been There, Done That...

2010-06-30T00:15:00.001-05:00

I saw this on one of the Blogs that I "stalk", LOL, here is the LINK.
I figured, this would be nice, random things about me you all may not know:
((The things I've done are in green, the stuff I haven't done are ni white)

1. Graduated high school. [Alhumdulilah]
2. Kissed someone.
3. Smoked a cigarette.
4. Got so drunk you passed out.
5. Rode every ride at an amusement park. [many times]
6. Collected something stupid.
7. Gone to a rock concert.
8. Helped someone.
9. Gone fishing
10. Watched four movies in one night.
11. Lied to someone.
12. Snorted cocaine.
13. Smoked weed.
14. Failed a subject.
15. Been in a car accident.
16. Been in a tornado.
17. Watched someone die.
18. Been to a funeral.
19. Burned yourself.
20. Run a marathon.
21. Cried yourself to sleep.
22. Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day.
23. Flown on an aeroplane.
24. Cheated on someone.
25. Been cheated on.
26. Written a 10 page letter.
27. Gone skiing.
28. Been sailing.
29. Cut yourself.
30. Had a best friend. [Still do alhumdulilah, may it last]
31. Lost someone you loved.
32. Got into trouble for something you didn't do. [ who hasn't !]
33. Stolen a book from the library
34. Gone to a different country. [ Too many to name..]
35. Watched the Harry Potter movies.
36. Had an online diary. [Does blogging count?]
37. Fired a gun. [ yes, was in the Air Force..]
38. Gambled in a casino.
39. Been in a school play.
40. Been fired from a job.
41. Taken a lie detector test.
42. Swam with dolphins.
43. Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
44. Written poetry.
45. Read more than 20 books a year. [ I love to read, and can read at a frightening pace sometimes]
46. Gone to Europe. [Grew up in Germany, been visiting ever since I left..]
47. Loved someone you shouldn't have.
48. Used a colouring book over age 12 .
49. Had a surgery.
50. Had stitches.
51. Taken a Taxi.
52. Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once.
53. Been in a fist fight. [Yea, defending myself against bullies after school]
54. Suffered any form of abuse.
55. Had a pet.
56. Petted a wild animal.
57. Had your own credit card & bought something with it.
58. Dyed your hair
59: Got a Tattoo [Well yea, the rose on my back]
60. Had something pierced. [All are out for quite some time]
61. Got straight A's.
62. Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS.
63. Taken pictures with a webcam.
64. Lost something expensive.
65. Gone to sleep with music on. [Every night]

So, I'll tag anyone who wants to let their readers know some random facts about themselves.

Have Fun!!!

Crochet Projects...

2010-06-27T04:06:00.001-05:00

I've been spending alot of my time crocheting lately and I wanted to post pics of what I got done so far:

The first pic is of a basic light green baby blnket with a small white border, this is a no-frills blanket, perfect for a little boy.

This second pic is of anothe light green baby blanket, this time its striped with yellow and a larger yellow border.

This third (and fourth) pic is of the first Shawl I'm attempting to make. it has a basic shell stitch that is prevalant throughout. I'll post when I get it finished, trying to decide what color I'll do the border in, or if it should just be all the same color.

Which is called country Rose btw.

I have three projects lined up:

A basic "Granny Square" Afghan,

A Purl Stich Baby blanket in a light lavender

Another shawl, differnt pattern in a light cream.

I'll post pics as I go along. The baby blankets take me anywhere from 7 to 14 days, depending on how much time I can devote to them and how challenging the pattern is. I am still t the easy/advanced easy level, have not tried the Intermediate patterns yet.

None of my current finished items are spoken for in case someone would like to have them, just let me know which one you want and I'll wrap it up and send it out.

I can also make more in other colors if you or someone you know is expecting, or just wants a midsize blanket (small afghan) for their kids.

Anybody have more ideas???

Oh and Dad brought home a 3week old kitten last weekend, so I've been playing mother hen to it all week, still trying to decide on a name for it though:

Forever

2010-06-13T15:59:00.001-05:00

Man pple, It's been for ever since I last posted. By the way, I haven't changed much in my room, I've been too busy crocheting. It's my "new" thing. I've been hooked bad for the past two months, its allI ever do now, lol. At least its something productive...

I've been making babyblankets and hats, scarfs and afghans so far. If anybody has a request, let me know along with your specific colors and I'll get on it. Insha'Allah

Changing Room Layout...

2010-04-25T19:21:00.000-05:00

I'm moving stuff in my room. got a "new" bed (just disinfected it standard procedure in my house, thats why the mattress is up), And am looking for some dsign ideas to "hide" the paneling on the walls. I don't get too much light in the room with the small window I have so it cvant be too dark.

Any Ideas?

Gardening, crazy world politics...

2010-04-14T21:57:00.000-05:00

So what's all the fuss about over at IslamOnline?
I used to follow/look at the site pretty much every day but sicne Nov when I moved and entered the "Internet- Reject" Land, I have barely followed any of the message boards, blogs or newspapers that I used too.

In a sense it is freeing. (I know I've already touched on it) I come home, check on my seedlings and the sproutlings and water them. I'm excited since Dad will break up the area along the side of the house for me to plant them. I have peas, cucumbers, strawberries, radishes, kohlrabie and as herbs I have: catnip, mint, chives, sage and balm. Oh and I got Blackberries, I hope this will all work out this year, Insha'Allah. It's the first year that I am actually quite serious about it all. Maybe my father's passion for gardening is infectuos, lol. Or maybe I'm just happy to be outdoors and enjoy the warm humid weather and get out of the house.

Who really knows?

Her dIamonds- Rob Thomas

2010-04-13T08:10:00.000-05:00

For some reason I am really lovin this song right now:

Oh what the hell she says
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down

Man there's so many times
I don't know what I'm doin'
Like I don't know now

By the light of the moon,
she rubs her eyes
Says it's funny how the night can make you blind

I can just imagine
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
But if she feels bad then I do too

So I let her be
And she says ooh I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cause I can't help her now

She's down in it
She tried her best but now she can't win
It's hard to see them on the ground

Her diamonds falling down, way down
She sits down and stares into the distance
And it takes all night

And I know I could break her concentration
But it don't feel right
By the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes
Sits down on the bed and starts to cry

And there's something less about her
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
So I sit down and I cry too

But don't let her see
And she says ooh, I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down

Cause I can't help her now
She's down in it
She tried her best but now she can't win

It's hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down
She shuts out the night

Tries to close her eyes
If she can find daylight
Then she'll be alright, she'll be alright
Just not tonight

And she says ooh, I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down

Cause I can't help her now
She's down in it
She tried her best but now she can't win
It's hard to see them on the ground

Her diamonds falling
Ooh, I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
But her diamonds bring me down

Cause I can't help her now
She's down in it
She tried her best but now she can't win

It's hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down
I can't take no more

Diamonds on the floor
No more, no more, no more
Diamonds falling down
I can't take no more

Diamonds on the floor
No more, no more, no more
Diamonds falling down
I can't take no more

Diamonds on the floor
(No more, no more)
Her diamonds falling, all her diamonds

Diamonds falling down
I can't take these diamonds falling down

Time for gardening season!

2010-04-11T23:44:00.000-05:00

Its that time of year:

buddings sprouting through the soil, reaching for that nourishing sun and air, pple mad dashing to the gardening centers of the stores to get the latest technology to make your gardening this year that much more profitable and bountiful.

Even my dad is caught up in it all: He's busy replanting grass in the front yard along with wild flowers and rose bushes.

Hiatus Over..... ?

2010-03-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

Asalaamu Aleikum My fellow Bloggers!

I have not forgotten any of you, I promise! Between working at my Day job in Town, handling shipping and receiving in a local Hardware store warehouse, and the weekend night job I have, not much time has been at my fingertips.
Add to that the temperamental Internet that I "enjoy", much of my little time on the net is used to pay bills and respond to emails. It is certainly different than how much time I spent on it before I moved.
Even though it may seem that losing the ability to have your Internet at your beck and call is such a big hassle, I have found it a great relief in a way. I spend more time doing things around the house. I have returned to my crocheting projects, and while it may take me a while to finish a comforter, I plan on sending them out to sisters who are interested on receiving one or two. (more to come on that later)
I am also spending more time outdoors enjoying all the wonderful sights and sounds that make up our beautiful world. So overall, I think not having 24/hr access to the Internet and through that the world is actually beneficial. Maybe this year for Ramadan I'll give it up completely so I can concentrate and Insha'Allah Fast all month this year.

So anyways, I will try to make more of an effort on updating you all on my life, such as it is anyways, lol. I spend much time working and other times I squeeze in family time with my dad.

Later!

Living Islam...

2010-01-25T02:35:00.000-06:00

****Sister Safiyyah has made some excellent additions to my post and a few clarifications within the comments. Please read them also. Thanks.******

Well, this is the first time I am attempting to do a more religious post on blogger. I usually report more on what happens in my life than attempt to interpret and identify the “proper” hadiths and how to integrate them into your life. But a question was asked in one of my comments and I will try to answer it here and the question was:
“Could you explain me a little for 'Sunnah and the Hadiths if you watch what you do and who you interact with'. And is there a compulsion about the subject of living Islam according to Islam?”

First and foremost, I am a firm believer that the Quran is to be followed as best you can. Now since we can all read the same sentence and still have different interpretations, the Hadiths were handed down from the Prophet (pbuh) and how he lived, as a guideline on how to integrate the Quran into your everyday life. There are different kinds of Hadith, strong and weak and you should always research them to ensure their integrity before you blindly believe them. In layman’s terms a strong hadith is a hadith that has been spoken or acted upon by the prophet (pbuh) himself and that multiple Scholars agree upon. A weak hadith is one that was heard by a friend who heard from a friend who heard from a friend that the prophet (pbuh) said that. Get the picture?

So, mainly how I try to follow the Quran and the Hadith is by reading the Quran often (daily is best but I honestly do not make it every day) for one and to be honest and open in my dealings with others. I try to stay away from backbiting and I do not consume pork. I watch who I interact with often, because I do not want to be around bad people so I tend to stay away from them. I perform my daily prayers as best I can and I always try to give thanks to Allah (swt) for all the blessings bestowed upon me. I give my Zakat and I try to perform much Dawah. In Ramadan I try to fast each day, but of course, underneath it all is the simple fact that I am a human being. I am not perfect, I do not make all of my prayers, nor do I always fast each and every day I’m supposed too. But the difference here my dear friends, is that I believe I’m supposed to and that I at least give it a real effort.

Now, a big point I need to make here is that there is NO compulsion in religion. Especially Islam. Giving advice to a convert, or for that matter another Muslim, if you do not believe it within your heart, and I mean deeply and without doubts, then don’t do it. If you just wear a Hijab because your parents or whoever says you must, then you are wearing it for the wrong reasons. Anything you do, you should do because you believe that Allah (swt) tells you too. What is plainly written in the Quran and what can be read in the strong hadith is what you should guide your life after. For example, it took my sister and sister in Islam about 1-2 years to fully cover and wear Hijab and Abaya. But other sisters I know started wearing it immediately. We are all different inside and the time we need until we can do something with conviction and without fear of reprisal is different for each of us.

My advice then if you will, is simply this: research online about the 5 Pillars of Islam. Those are the main focus points you should be living your life after, that’s why they are the pillars. Once you have those down, then move on to integrate more of the Quran into your life. And take it one step at a time, don’t rush it. You need to make sure you are comfortable with the decisions you are making or else you will not be happy.

So in closing, I am not a scholar, and I invite my more knowledgeable sisters out there to please correct me if needed. And I welcome any of your comments as always. I may not answer right away, (dang internet, lol) but I’ll try my best Insha’Allah.

Conversations...

2010-01-21T03:19:00.000-06:00

I just got my Father to bed. He had a bad night at work, and some things in his life have made a recurrence again. One of them is the fact that he thinks my sister hates him or thinks that he is a hard ass and not a nice person. She has never Really met him after our parents got divorced. That weighs on him.
He really only wants to build/make a place to call home for his children and somehow he got the idea that Me being here, and not having a job and nothing to do at all here in east TX, is not something I want and that I am only amusing him by staying here while I secretly want to be somewhere else. How to explain to him that there is nowhere on this earth I rather be? I try to tell him that but I don't think he is listening.
He is having issues about my younger brother. They had a paternity test done, and he only owes $200 on it to get the results and he has been dragging his feet because he feels bad and is worried about what the results would be. He is really frightened that they will come out negative and that he is not his son. He is worried that my brother than will not accept him as a father. Me telling him that that will not be the case, or that my sister does care for him; is it futile? Every few months this comes up and he has a breakdown and he falls apart. He blames himself for the abuse we went through under our mother, he did what he believed to be the right thing at the time and his family gave him shit over it all his life. So he blames himself, and blames himself.... no matter how many times I tell him he did what was best for me and my sister, or that we forgive him, or that there is nothing to forgive and we hold nothing against him, it never seems to be enough.
So now I am here at a crossroads. Do I reenlist? If so, Active or Guard? My father believes I would make an excellent officer, do I do that? Or stick with the whole NCO thing? What to do, What to do.... I am praying, but I have no idea. I am leaning towards it all, but I also do not want to leave my father; not when he is like this. But living here without a job is hard on me too. I have bills that need to be paid....
Astaghfirullah, I just don't know, I feel lost. And I have to (once again) put a brave face on and act like everything is great and nice, because if I didn't it would hurt my father even more. And I would never want to hurt him. So I sit here, with tears in my eyes, torn between what I want to do, and what I think I should do, and everything just seems so... so.... ugh. I don't even know. And half the time I don't even know what I want to do. There are so many opportunities out there for me but I don't know which one to grab ahold of.
And I sometimes fear of revealing these things, these uncertainties because I am afraid that people would think of me as a immature child and not the young adult, the young lady I strive to be.

For my Soldier serving Overseas

2010-01-20T16:59:00.000-06:00

When you aren't around life becomes miserable. My only comfort is to prostrate to Al Hafiz that He will protect you. I wonder often times how you sleep, eat. Are you happy? Are you comfortable? Are you staying as safe as you can while you are over there protecting our country? I welcome thoughts of you during each activity of my day. I don’t ever want to forget a memory that we have made, or a conversation we have had. I don't try to push you out of my head. You're too precious to me. But it's all very draining at times.

I try to find distractions in the smallest of things. I will busy myself with work or reorganize my closet for the 10th time this week. I’ll do anything to stop the worrying, the never ending longing for your presence near me. And on the days I can no longer take the pain of being apart, I sleep. In my dreams we are together. We are beyond all the problems and obstacles we will be facing and we are happy, regardless if we fight over whose turn it is to take out the trash or whose favorite TV show we will watch. You see, it doesn't matter as long as you are here, with me.

I hope all who know me and you will pray with me for your safety and your safe return to us, along with the rest of our unit. I weighs heavy on my mind that I am not there, suffering with you all, but it is better this way. We have a 6 month separation, where we can reevaluate our feelings and ensure that we really want each other in our lives for the rest of our lives.

Musings on Life

2010-01-18T01:43:00.000-06:00

It is hard for us when we are away from our loved ones. Even harder knowing that they are in a dangerous place overseas and there is nothing we can do to help them or make their life easier. We can write emails (oh joyous wonder for the luxuries of this day and age), sometimes get a phone call but really we are limited to expressing our feelings through letters.
Yes, snail mail, slow moving letters that take a few days to get to them, but really, what better way is there? Besides speaking to them in person which is not possible. So I sit here, writing my feelings, writing about my life, writing about what makes me, well..... me. And I feel sometimes it is not enough. I thank Allah (swt) for giving me each day that I have so that I can live to pray to Allah (swt) and I try to count all of my blessings.
Life is rough though sometimes. I am currently caught up within the whole economic recession and some days are harder than others. So, I spend my time cleaning the house, doing laundry, cooking meals for my father and I started crocheting again. I am finished with the two horses I was training, and I am waiting for that call saying there are more for me to train. I try to stay busy, but besides that and writing letters there is not that much I can do, so I joined a local gym and have been attending every night. It is enough for now I suppose.
My father is having relationship difficulties and he is questioning more and more if he wants to stay here. He devoted 3 years to this particular woman and even though she seems like a very nice person and has quite a few demons she needs to deal with, the fact that she would disappear for days on end without a call or note and then return like nothing happened has been dragging him down. Today alone he made numerous references that nothing is really holding him here in East Texas. I asked him if he wants to move and he said he is seriously considering it. But where too? He has no clue.
Now for myself? I dunno what this new year will bring. There are so many possibilities open to me, I suppose if he moves I will go with him. I have been considering going Active duty for the next 3 years or so. It's not like I have anything holding me here right this minute. My sister wants me to move over to Germany or Abu Dhabi when she moves there, she doesn't like me being here by my lonesome. not that I am alone,. but as the only Muslim member of our family here in USA, I believe she thinks me to be alone.
So, I have been neglecting this blog, but I hope, Insha'Allah, that I will be able to devote some more time to it. Who knows? There might even be some juicy stories about recent events in my life I will reveal......

Hey

2010-01-01T02:38:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the Hiatus, I've been doing a lot of internal thinking and much of my writing has been devoted to one person.

I will have some more time in a few days, Insha'Allah.

East Texas #2

2009-12-01T22:41:00.000-06:00

Well People, I have been here for one week and I applied for quite a few jobs. I have been offered to train a fresh young Colt for Racing. I would love to do that but I never trained a Racehourse before, all my training/handling of horses was always more in the Rescue/retiring arena.
I have settled in with my Father quite nicely, we are already into a full swing and routine here. Alhamdullilah. My sister is doing well over in Abu Dhabi, even after her major hiccup when she got there. The place she is interning at helped her get a place to stay for her duration.
She is enjoying her stay and I just got my first shaylas and they are very delicate, but nice. I'll have to see how I can incorporate the new colors into my wardrobe, lol.
I hope you all had a great Eid!

So to all of you out there in the East Texas Area, or Louisiana (I'm only 10min from Logansport), If you wanna meet up or get together, or even share stories, I'm here!

The closest Mosque I have found is in Tyler, so I'll keep you all up-to-date once I get a chance to go visit it.

Driving again

2009-11-22T13:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, sorry its been so long people, I've had a very hectic two weeks. I will be driving back down to Texas today afternoon or evening.
I wish you all safe travels where ever you are. And I will post some more pics from my drive and/or Texas as soon as I am conneted back to the internet! Insha'Allah

Scammer Alert!!!

2009-11-01T20:59:00.000-06:00

So, After a Hectic weekend here's what happened and please take this as a warning for us all.

We all hear about all those email scams that are out there, I'm sure at least one of you has received one of those emails saying that you have been selected (for whatever reason) to be the receiver of a large amount of money, ..... If you wire a "small" processing fee.

Well, beware if you are on sites such as Exptriates.com, (nothing against the site itself, I'm sure its legit) if you are looking at renting a apartment or room overseas.

My Sister is undertaking a internship in Abu Dhabi, and contacted a person named Milicia Nielson who had a apartment for rent in Abu Dhabi. Rent seemed reasonable, and after a few phone calls with her, to verify they were actual people, my sister went ahead with trying to secure the apartment.
Little did my sister know this was just a new spin on the 419 scams and there she was in Abu Dhabi Airport, no Milicia, no one to pick her up and give her shelter. Fortunately, I was able to help a little and her friends too, and now she has a place sanctioned by the place she is Interning at.

I suppose this is just a helpful warning to all traveling overseas... I'll post more later if I can.

Storm and stuck

2009-10-30T02:04:00.001-05:00

**My dad called to make sure we had power cuz of the big thunderstorm that went through today, and I told him,
"yea we still got power, but watch the water coming across our driveway. Not in the spot that flooded the other day, further up. You should still get through though, isn't deep."
.
.
.
.
.
Fast forward 40 min. I'm in the kitchen, cooking dinner. My Dad comes in the Door soaking wet. Looks at me and says: "Not Deep? My car is flooded. Water came over the hood, it stalled and wouldn't start back up. Now it's sitting in the middle of the road."

Me: "I'm so sorry Dad. " (stunned look on face)

It's about 4 hour later and I still feel horrible. If I would have made no mention I might still feel so bad, or I could have said oh I think it's gonna flood Dad, Have our neighbor bring you down the road in his truck. Subhanna'Allah, I hate when my not thinking and luck hurts other people.

Any Ideas on how I can fix this?

**UPDATE**

Well, Alhamdullilah for Ford building good vehicles. Our Neighborcame in the wee Hours of the morning and helped tow my father out so that he can go to Dallas since his Daughter-in-Law Died (subhanna'Allah).
My Fathers carstarted up right away and it seems like there was only minor water Damage. Alhamdullilah!

Seething

2009-10-28T00:24:00.000-05:00

One thing that frightened me alot, was when the Muslimah got stabbed in germany. For those of you who may have not heard about it, They are just now coming to trial.

Why did it scare me when I am so far away?

Well for one, My sister lives in germany. She and her kids have all been victims of people yelling at them, rudeness, even physical violence. So naturally I felt outrage along with the rest of the world, but I was also concerned for my sister.

I renewed my efforts in trying to get her to move out of Germany. I pleaded with her, but she is just as stubborn as the rest of the family (myself included). She refuses to leave unti she completes her Masters program. Insha'Allah she will graduate as planned this coming march.

So, Alhamdullilah, She will be in Abu Dhabi for 8 weeks. I am heading out mid November and will be there with her until she is done her Internship and we'll fly bck together.

So I guess, besides writing down my worries for all my Muslim sisters out there in the world, I also am letting any sisters in Abu Dhabi know that I'll be there in case you want to meet. I've never been in the UAE, so I have no idea whats to do out there.

I'm planning on doing some walking around town, Are there areas I should stear clear from?
I'm gueassing the malls are the most expensive place to shop, where can I get some everyday Abayas or Shalwer Khameez at a reasonable price?

Looking for Ideas Sisters....

Yesterdays conversation:

2009-10-27T23:02:00.000-05:00

Explaining blogging to my Father:

Me: "Dad, think of it as me putting random thought out there, i suppose it's something like my diary online."

Dad: "But I don't get it, Why would you want to put personal information out there. And who reads it?"

Me: "Well, I never say exactly who I am, like my name or any personal information like that. I post/write about things that are happening in my life, world events that interest me things like that. And Anybody can read it."

Dad: "But how do they find you?"

Me: (open up google, type in keywords, demonstrating) "See Dad, all you need to do is type in German and muslimah for example, and I am the first thing you get. "

Dad: (exclaims loudly) "YEA! My baby girl is first in the search list!"

Me: "Oh Brother."

Dad: "I still don't get why you are putting your diary online and let other people stalk you."

.....To be continued......

Are we missing the point??

2009-10-25T13:02:00.000-05:00

I read this pos and it makes a lot of sense to me...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/blog/general/the-essence-of-islam-are-we-missing-the-point/

thinking...

2009-10-22T20:24:00.000-05:00

Thinking about going back to Inline Skating...

I used to be really passionate back when I lived in Germany, then I did it out of necessity for awhile here and for the past oh 4-5 years nothing. Thinking about buying a pair of Inlines and starting to get back to it. Seems like a fun way to get back in shape.

Or its my way of getting out of running.... it's getting tiresome lately.

Any views??

Back in Texas

2009-10-19T12:43:00.000-05:00

Well, I arrived safe and sound in Texas last night.

Ill be here for two weeks again, then I got two weeks left of work. So, I hope I'll be able to post some more pics of TX this time. I suppose they will be of TX in Fall colors, which has been pretty beautiful to see.

I'm gonna be pretty busy with getting my room set up here with all the rest of my things that I brought down from Jersey. Now I only got a set of uniform, my computer and a few abayas that I'll be taking to Abu Dhabi. Everythign else is going to Goodwill or is already here.

I do have two Shalwer Khameez and one light blue Jilbab in case any sister is interested, I'll send them out to you. If I can find the pictures of them, I'll post them. They've never been worn, I got them, but the website was never able to get my shoulders right. I have fairly broad shoulders and that is why I can't fit in them, and since they are custom, I didn't want to bother with returns and such...

If you go to Utsav and look up these two models: SLKGD913D and KGF623D. Naturally they are not selling them anymore, I think they are 2 seasons ago, not sure, do not really keep up with fashions that much, but there you go...

WOO HOO

2009-10-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

I'm going to Abu Dhabi!

(besides moving to Texas, getting a new job)

More to come

Nightmare

2009-10-11T10:15:00.001-05:00

Usually when I dream I do not remember my dreams, much less when I have a nightmare.

Well, I literally just woke up from one. My father was in prison, and I do not remember what he was there for, only that while he was there, his fellow inmates, a large black fellow, a very smaller white guy, and a regular white guy were very kind to him. They bought him magazines, and spent their time with him.
I came to visit him often and this one time, he was being led away. They only told me that I would not want to see what was about to happen, but I cajoled the smaller man into letting me know where it was going to be taking place and I went there. I remember hearing "It's not fair, its like a big cage" and I remember promising I would behave myself.
By that time I had a feeling of what was about to happen and I promised not to interfere. When we got there, it looked like a gym hall, but the bleachers were filled with people and there was a roll down cage on the entrance. I took a seat in the back, not really wanting to see, but having to witness what was about to happen. As I was straining my head to try to see something, I caught a glimpse of my father in front of the firing squad. I heard the commands to fire and he started running. Next thing I knew, I was in front of the entrance, the roll up cage wasn't there and my father had somehow gotten a rifle. I skidded on the floor and kicked the rifle out of his hands because he was aiming at one of the female guards.
Then hands grabbed me from behind, I was being rushed away and I heard someone keep yelling "Get her outta here!" I was sobbing uncontrollably and trying to explain to the small man that I was trying to save her life because he would have killed her, he was an expert marksman and all his military training demands it of him, that it was second nature. I wasn't trying to help him, just prevent him from taking a life. His 'friends' looked at each other and started talking about how his punishment was too harsh and he deserved better than what they offered him.
I sat on one of the steps until they opened the gates for me and I walked to my car and sped away over the hill....

Thats when I woke up. Yea, not a pleasant dream. Needless to say I'm shocked at remembering a dream much less a nightmare like this. Well, I'm gonna be calling my Father now, Talk to ya'll later.

Life little mysteries

2009-10-10T23:32:00.000-05:00

Well, My sisters Internship in Abu Dhabi is looming nearer and nearer and her husband has been telling her if she goes alone he's going to divorce her and take her girls with him. Subhanna'Alah. (sigh)
Well, my situation has recently changed and she got some extra money and now she wants me to go to Abu Dhabi with her so that her husband won't divorce her because she is thee alone. I suppose I can go, I am a little worried about funds while I am there, should I get a credit card? Take out a loan? I dunno. She was going to talk to her Hubby about it and see if he agrees, her only other options would be to send the girls to me and I'll watch them for the 8 weeks here in Texas, I go to Germany and watch them there, both options leaving her hubby the opportunity to go with her.
She is currently in Germany working in the final months towards her Masters Degree in Cultural Anthropology. For her midterm paper she covered the immigrants into Germany, the lives they build, the difficulties they face and the hardships of adapting to a new society and society adapting to them. For her final paper, she is studying the same thing, but this time with Germans living abroad.

So, Instead of me moving completely to Texas mid-November, I might be going to Abu Dhabi for 8 weeks and then move. Anybody from abu Dhabi that knows of some nice places to go or things to do/see???

what a day

2009-10-08T23:16:00.000-05:00

Yea, so I got up already an hour late for work

got ready, walked out to find my car had been a victim of Silly String!

cleaned it off then headed into work and got in an accident (minor) halfway there.

Fell asleep at lunchtime, so no lunch for me! (lol)

Left work at 9pm (4.5 hours overtime) because I had to make sure a co-worker finished up with the uniform orders for my people.

got home safe and here I am, thinking: "What a wild Day!"

Heading west

2009-10-07T20:23:00.000-05:00

I'm officially moving!!!!!!!! I am excited and scared, I can't wait for warmer (humid) weather, great scenery, slower pace of life and friendly people. I am a little anxious because I don't have a job yet.

Insha'Allah.....

2009-09-25T12:57:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of things I've seen around the local area when I've been taking my walks:

Road Trip

2009-09-25T12:32:00.000-05:00

Here are some Pics from my trip down to Texas:

East Texas

2009-09-24T11:26:00.000-05:00

Hello All,

Insha'Alah you have all had a productive and blessed Ramadan and Eid. I am currently in East Texas, and am loving the nature surrounding me. I am on vacation and it is a bit hard to fill my time. I am so used to go go go and now that I have the time to actually sit and relax I am at a loss.

I have been taking long walks to enjoy the beauty that surrounds me here, and have also started to take pictures. I'll get some posted for you all to see.

I have noticed however, that the fresh air is doing me good, I am not as stressed, at least not as much as I was when I got here on sunday. I just hope that when I get back to Jersey, I can take some of this relaxed mentality and keep it all the way through my Deployment that is coming up. Knowing myself it may very well not be likely, but I can hope and pray.

One thing that is new, I have begun to start watching the stockmarkets, is this something that is haram? I'll have to research that....

Til Later...

Control issues

2009-08-30T19:29:00.000-05:00

When is having to control your environment enough?

I'd say definitely when someones life depended on it. OK, I'll back up:

We had a family party today for my Great-Great Grandmother who turned 85. Normally, I arrive, pay my respects, talk with my grandfather a bit and then leave. I am not (never had been) big on our large family gatherings. It always feels forced and false.
For some reason, this time I stayed. I stayed until the end, although I was making my way towards the exit, I talked with a few of my Aunts and Cousins. My one aunt asked me if I was fine taking my one Uncle home and then coming back with her to get his truck. At first I was reluctant, but seeing him swaying on the bench I agreed. When I went over to him he started to get a Asthma attack. Me and my younger cousin who also suffers from asthma, talked him through the worst and then helped him over to my Truck to take him home.
As we got around the building however, he collapsed on me when he started to get an panic attack on top of the hard time breathing. His brother came over and held him up while I got the Truck started.
I got my uncle home (constantly replaying my recent CPR course instructions in my head with my cousin and we got him his inhalers. They helped for a bit, but he still experienced hard chest pains, and when I got back from picking up his truck, he came out front to meet me and my aunt asking us to take him to the hospital. OK, I was ready to go and take him, but he walked up the driveway back while my aunt told me to wait for my grandmother because she will freak out if we take him to the hospital without her being there.
While my grandmother was on her way there, my uncle was sitting on a cooler in the driveway and as I walked towards him he tried to get up. He collapsed and I raced to him.I got behind him and held him up in a sitting position and started to talk to him, trying to get him to calm down his breathing. My cousin was there, getting us his inhalers. I was just telling my aunt who came up behind us that we need to call a ambulance when my grandmother pulled in the driveway, running towards us, almost falling herself and then trying first to wrestle him from me and after I repeatedly told her I had him. My uncle started to fight me and she pushed down on his chest trying to hold him down. I told her (forcibly i suppose) to let him be and that I had him. She walked over to her van to get her cell but I already had the number dialed. She yelled at me to let her call and I let it go.
While he was struggling against me, fighting for his breath and panicking, she was yelling about her baby son not being able to breathe and they better get there quick. She went to back her van out of the driveway and my uncle started to struggle to get up. I let hi, trying to control it the whole way up. All of a sudden, she was back again, trying to wrestle him from me again, yelling at him to keep breathing and stop struggling. I had to tell her again with some force (not yelling at her) that I had him and she needed to let me hold him up. Meanwhile, the Ambulance arrived and my other uncle came down and took him from me as my aunt talked my grandmother away from him. She started yelling at the paramedics who were walking up the driveway to hurry, and why are they walking, she could walk faster than that.

I walked to the side at that point, because it started to overwhelm me, the need to yell at my grandmother to let the paramedics do their job and for her to stop having to be the one in control. Subhanna'Allah I wanted to so bad, but I understand her need to control the situation and her fear of losing her second-oldest son. Regardless of that, I could have just as well called the ambulance, and her pushing on his chest helped start his struggling since it restricted his breathing even more.

I dunno, I respect my family, but there are some instances that just make me want to rip my hair out and scream. Maybe this is one of the reasons I usually never stay long at Family gatherings. Alhamdullilah, I kept my cool and did not berate my Grandmother. Insha'Allah My uncle will be fine, Insha'Allah.

Free Time

2009-08-28T18:22:00.001-05:00

Wow, I have completely forgotten what free time is I suppose. Today was the first time I had a day off and besides getting my car inspected, I did not know what to do with myself. Lol, Well this is what I've been doing the past months:

School: I just completed another semester this time Geography, Public Speech and Statistics. I really loved Geography, thinking I might try to take some more courses in that subject besides my regular history courses. Alhamdullilah I passed Statistics, that was a very very hard class.
Work: we've been gearin up for this major inspection that is coming up in the next two weeks. But we also have a inspection that is gonna go on next week. So its been long hours there. A lot of compensatory time which is good because I'll need it.

Personally, I am happy. I am moving to my Dad's in East Texas (finally). I feel like a weight has been lifted, even though I am grateful for the experiences and opportunities this job has afforded me, I am glad that I will be moving on. Everything has to come to an end and I will be sure to take the lessons that I have learned to heart and try to better myself with them. Insha'Allah.

Looking around my room I realize all of what I need to do in a short time to get my stuff together. I am thinking on making two trips with my stuff, but we will see how it all works out. My Dad is estatic about me coming to live with him again, even if it is only for a little while (more to come on that little tidbit).

A new start, a new beginning with some familiar faces in a new environment. Alhamdullilah for the opportunities that are afforded to us in this Dunya. May we recognize them and take them.

Under Construction...

2009-08-25T22:18:00.000-05:00

Ramadan Mubarak to all!

Obviiously my blog is changing, but more to that later.....I really liked this layout and figured there had to be bloom in the desert eventually, right? lol. I'll flesh this blog out and update you all on all my adventures later, Gotta go pray Isha......

Informative Speech

2009-07-29T05:01:00.000-05:00

Here's the Link to my Speech, was nervous so I made a few mistakes:

Informative Speech

Updates on my life so far..... part 2

2009-07-26T00:18:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone...

As we get closer to Ramadan (can't believe this year has gone by so fast!), I figured I should give you all an update on how my life has been and what has kept me so busy.

Spring Semester was American politics and Government and Algebra, I passed both of those classes.

In May I was sent to Puerto Rico with work for two weeks for a Deployment-for-Training.

I started Summer II Semester 3 weeks ago, I am taking Statistics, Geography and Public Speech. Needless to say I am keeping pretty busy. All classes are pretty interesting, but I'm thinking I'm liking the geography class the best. The mingling of physical and cultural geography makes this a very interesting new take upon a subject I have so far only known to be the "point and tell" type.

Home wise, I had a short visit with my sister and her family in June. 2 weeks after, the reason for my visit, my grandfather, passed away (May Allah (swt) show mercy upon his soul). My grandparents here are still doing well. They have their ups and downs but they are ok. My father Alhamdullilah is doing very well for himself, he is working hard as always and is getting much done around the house. I haven't heard anything lately from my brother, but I am sure he is well.

Work is same old, same old. We have a major inspection coming up, so everyone is going crazy, lol. More overtime for me yay!

Downside from this all? I haven't been to the gym in 3 weeks, although I have taken up walking the dog every night with a friend.

So, now that your all updated, and its 0132AM in the morning, I'm heading to bed.

Please Watch This....

2009-07-10T23:01:00.000-05:00

I know its been awhile, but I wante to draw attention to this problem:

Landmines in the West

Insha'Allah I'll post some updates for you all...

working in the backyard

2009-04-29T20:48:00.001-05:00

Hoping i'll get it all weeded by the end of next week. (Supposed to end up being a tomato and other garden)