Thursday, May 19, 2011

Some Jokes I found:

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.
"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice,
Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away

"We're down here ."


A boss' best worker named Colin claims he knows absolutely everyone, trying to convince the boss he should get a raise. So the boss goes: ''Riiight, let's go fly to Hollywood and meet... Tom Cruise!''
Colin: ''Sure, me and Tom are good buddies.'' Later, Colin and his boss are in Hollywood and are knocking on Cruise's door. Upon opening the door, Tom shouts: ''Colin! What a great surprise! Please, you and your friend come in and join me for lunch.'' Upon leaving the house, Colin's boss is dumb-founded, but not 100% convinced. So Colin proceeds to say: ''Fine, let's go to President Obama.''
Later that day, Colin and his boss arrive in D.C. Upon entering the White House, Colin gets eye contact with Obama who exclaims: ''Colin! How great to see you! Please, come have a cup of coffee with your friend and I to catch up. So the boss is now 90% assured that Colin does in fact know everyone. So as one last attempt, the boss challenges Colin to have known the Pope personally. Colin says: ''Why sure, my family and I lived in Germany for a while, and we knew the Pope very well.''
So after landing in Rome, they head for the town the Pope is scheduled to be doing a speech on. After many attempts of trying to make eye contact, Colin says: ''It's no use. I can't make eye contact through all these people. Wait, I'll go up the stairs, as I know the guards well, and come out on the balcony with the Pope.''
Sure enough, the Pope is shortly joined by Colin on the balcony.
5 minutes later, Colin returns to where he was previously standing to find that his boss had a heart attack, and was surrounded by paramedics. Colin asks him what happened, to which the boss replied: ''Well, when you were up there, a guy next to me shouted - Who the F*CK is that next to Colin?!''


I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company.

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."